Pete Hegseth Vows Military Will Not Discriminate Against Chicks, Broads, Or Dames

Babylon Bee ^ | 06/26/2025 | Babylon Bee

[bigdaddy45]

Thats gold Jerry. GOLD!!!

[chajin]

Just recently I was asked if I wanted to study abroad, and I said it depended on who she was. At my age I can get away with it.

[Bernard]

Who made the sandwiches?

[Jamestown1630]

LOL.

I remember my father telling us about Waves and Wacs; and that in his Marines they referred to ‘BAMS’ - Broad-assed Marines.

[FatherofFive]

asked if I wanted to study abroad, and I said it depended on who she was

Funny. I always liked Rush’s comment that he was a big fan of the Women’s Movement, especially from the behind.

[BipolarBob]

The LGBQT+ crowd refer to them as front holers. I kid you not.

[DeplorableTrumpSupporter]

The Bee made my day again...Thanks...

[alstewartfan]

Just to clarify: Sec. Hegseth does not discriminate. His list of hotties includes Pam Bondi, Kristi Noem, Tulsi Gabbard and Tom Homan. Clearly, a properly diverse group. 😵‍💫

[MinorityRepublican]

"Chicks can be like that sometimes," he admitted. "But I'll buy them some flowers and everything will be right as rain."

[stanne]

Well. Reportedly there was a woman B2 driver on this Hammer mission. Girls can fly airplanes. Bombers. They used to be kept out of combat

Hegseth could have said something different. He will from now on without apologizing- which is the best way around

As a former active duty military woman, I’ve heard it all. I don’t care. I’ll bet she doesn’t care. I don’t know.

[Navy Patriot]

I've been waiting all year for that one, and you beat me to it!

I'll get even!

[NorthMountain]

If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day, you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized, grab-asstic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops, or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do you maggots understand that?

-Gunnery Sergeant Hartman (R. Lee Ermey)

[Nabber]

I just had coffee running out of my nose, on that first sentence. SNL would do well to have a Babylon Bee segment..

[airborne]

What about nappy headed hoes?

[9YearLurker]

Could Hegseth be any more Hegsethy?

[AnAmericanMother]

There is nothing like a dame . . .

[mdmathis6]

...nothing in the world....! ;)

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

"But I'll buy them some flowers and everything will be right as rain."

Chocolate, Pete. Always deploy chocolate along with the flowers.

A gift certificate to a spa day is sometimes necessary but you really have to have messed up for that to be required.

Generally (see what I did there?) flowers and chocolate should do the trick. And not the kind you get at the gas station either. Not unless you are on a budget.

And Pete, we have all seen the size of your budget. Makes us a little ill thinking about it.

So, flowers, chocolate and a sorry babe should do it.

[AndyJackson]

And Babes?