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L.A. Rioter Sad As He Can't Find Any Houses To Burn Down Since They All Burned Down In The Wildfires
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/10/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/10/2025 1:17:38 PM PDT by DFG

LOS ANGELES — As immigration riots spread across the city, local rioter and ruffian Eduardo Perez expressed regret that he could not find any houses to burn down since they all burned down in the wildfires back in January.

"What are we even fighting for if there aren't any more houses to burn down?" Perez reportedly said, forlorn. "This is all because of Governor Newsom's terrible forest management!"

Perez isn't alone. Social workers are reportedly stretched thin, overwhelmed by a caseload comprised almost entirely of communist arsonists without homes to arson.

"I wanted to watch the city burn," lamented arsonist José Sanchez, (they/them), "but now I'm stuck looting stores. This is lame."

President Trump berated California leadership over the situation. "It used to be that half a city would burn down in a good riot," Trump said on Truth Social, "but California can't even get that right! Gavin Newscum and Big Mouth Karen Bass the Singing Sensation let the city burn down — SOMETHING THAT NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED — and now these poor rioters can't even look cool. DISGRACEFUL!"

At publishing time, rioters had been spotted in Sacramento setting Governor Gavin Newsom's car on fire.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire

1 posted on 06/10/2025 1:17:38 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

That is screamingly funny!!!


2 posted on 06/10/2025 1:24:40 PM PDT by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
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To: DFG

They’re depriving him of his constitutional right!!!


3 posted on 06/10/2025 1:26:33 PM PDT by Mean Daddy
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To: DFG

Yeah pretty much


4 posted on 06/10/2025 1:26:45 PM PDT by Sarah Barracuda
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To: DFG
They should rebuild LA and then periodically burn it down again.
And repeat, ad-infinitum….
5 posted on 06/10/2025 1:29:40 PM PDT by GaltAdonis
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To: DFG

Can’t find a house to burn...go find a car. Can’t find a car...self immolate.


6 posted on 06/10/2025 1:32:23 PM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of scenery, wildlife and climbing, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
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To: MtnClimber
Can’t find a house to burn...go find a car. Can’t find a car...self immolate.

I think I prefer the last option. 🤪

7 posted on 06/10/2025 1:38:25 PM PDT by Mark17 (Retired USAF air traffic controller. Father of USAF ISR pilot. Both bitten by the aviation bug)
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To: DFG

There are tons of neighborhoods in LA.


8 posted on 06/10/2025 1:51:47 PM PDT by laplata (They want each crisis to take the greatest toll possible.)
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To: DFG

Probably more true than not.


9 posted on 06/10/2025 2:57:54 PM PDT by metmom ( He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.”)
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To: DFG

Ooohhhh. Over the line, bee


10 posted on 06/10/2025 3:34:05 PM PDT by dangus
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