Posted on 05/28/2025 9:26:25 AM PDT by DFG
The Babylon Bee would like to announce that we have officially joined National Public Radio in suing the government for not giving us tens of millions of dollars.
The Bee only recently became aware that the government is supposed to give us a bunch of money for reporting the news. Apparently, the government not giving us truckloads of cash is totally illegal. Our not knowing that was frankly a pretty big oversight, and we fired all of our lawyers as a result. We hired new lawyers though, and they filed a motion this morning to join NPR's lawsuit in order that we may get the taxpayer money we so richly deserve.
"Not giving the Babylon Bee lots of money is a clear violation of our First Amendment rights," said Bee CEO Seth Dillon in a statement. "The government simply has no legal basis for refusing to give us $100 million. It's right there in the Constitution. We proudly stand in solidarity with NPR, calling on the federal government to do the right thing and send us a dump truck filled with cash. Anything else would be tantamount to fascism."
The Bee extends its thanks to all of our loyal supporters who are standing behind us in the fight against tyranny, and also the fight for Seth to get a Lambo.
How many million can I get for the church bulletin?
It is like the US was ignoring the Constitution until 1971. Even in the 19th Century, the government should have funded NPT… National Public Telegraph.
Lordy how I love The Bee
How about a school too?
They should actually join the suit. They should film the trial too. It would be hilarious, and give lie to the grifting f*ckery that is marxism.
Can I identify as a news agency and clean up?
Touche.
LOL. Maybe Freepers who regularly post articles should get their cut too.
Hey, I repost stuff on FR so I must be owed sometbing....
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