Posted on 04/03/2025 10:59:36 AM PDT by DFG
LOS ANGELES, CA — Major League Baseball's hottest franchise suddenly and unexpectedly announced the suspension of all operations today, as the Los Angeles Dodgers were bankrupted after President Donald Trump placed a 25% tariff on all Japanese players.
Despite starting the new season with an undefeated record, the Dodgers front office revealed that the new tariff on foreign players would make continuing to field a dominant team unsustainable.
"We just can't survive this economically," said Dodgers President and CEO Stan Kasten. "We had a good run. We imported a lot of international players, and it paid off for us under the previous trade arrangements. This new tariff, however, has crushed us. We're in the process of declaring bankruptcy and looking to sell off our Japanese players for pennies on the dollar."
When asked about the bankruptcy of the Dodgers, President Trump was unapologetic. "Sometimes things get worse before they get better," the president told reporters. "The Dodgers have made a lot of money by giving their roster spots to players from other countries. It's time for them to focus on signing players who were made right here in the United States. American players, that's what they need. Go look in Nebraska. They've got players in Nebraska, I'm told."
The Dodgers said the team hoped to begin weaning itself off of Japanese players like Shohei Ohtani, Roki Sasaki, and Yoshinobu Yamamoto over the next few weeks to avoid having to keep paying the tariff.
At publishing time, the Trump administration had agreed to remove the tariff if the Dodgers agreed to manufacture all of their Japanese players in the United States.
If only. We have plenty of Americans that can play ball at that level.
LOL! Love the BEE.
“Babylon Bee!” I knew it by the title.
Maybe, just Maybe I have ended my streak of falling for the “Bee!”
(Grin)
Wait until the stand-up comedy clubs pay the Canadian tariffs!
American players would be suing their high school, college, or professional teams if they had to practice and play the way Japanese players do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbSWjb3tlJg&t=2504s
They still aren’t as good as America players on the whole, there are the exceptions. Kind of rubs me they want to come over and play here but won’t learn our language.
The MLB goes out of its way to recruit foreigners, they have several “MLB” academies in South America to glean players staring around 12-13 years old. They house the player prospects and feed them. Here if your kid has any talent at all, you pay out the rear for coaching and “select” ball. That in itself cuts out a lot of lower income prospects, while the ones down south get help. Here’s an idea, subsidize our kids, not like they don’t have the money.
“Kind of rubs me they want to come over and play here but won’t learn our language.”
Japanese players comprehend basic English. The problem is nearly all Japanese have difficulty speaking English.
Take it from me, my grandparents came from Japan in the early 1900s and while they understood and could read English, speaking English was another thing. I’d often take my grandmother shopping and whenever she had to say something to another person in English, she’d have me speak for her and I don’t understand or speak Japanese.
Hat tip to the Babylon Bee
All those in the big money arena whinnying about tariffs in fact it gave them an excuse to gouge a bit more many places have jacked up prices this week over last weeks prices.
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A see WE told you so wink
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