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Jay Leno Expected To Make Full Recovery After 60-Foot Fall And Oh No He Was Just Attacked By An Angry Chihuahua That Made Him Step On A Rake Which Knocked Him Into The Street Where He Was Hit By A Bus
Babylon Bee ^ | 11/22/2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 11/23/2024 4:37:12 AM PST by DFG

BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Comedian and former longtime Tonight Show host Jay Leno, who fell 60 feet down a hill last weekend, was expected to make a full recovery until he was attacked by an angry chihuahua that made him step on a rake, which knocked him into the street where he was hit by an OmniTrans bus.

Leno was said to be in good spirits after the accident, which continued a trend of horrifying incidents that he has endured in recent years.

"Eh, what are you going to do?" Leno said as his usual upbeat self. "The dog wasn't a big deal. I like dogs, but he seemed to be a little bit angry, so then I stepped back onto a rake that swung up and whacked me out into the street. I probably would've been fine if it weren't for the bus. It went right over me. Boom. Boom. Two giant wheels, right over my esophagus. These things happen."

Paramedics rushed the comedian to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where he was initially pronounced dead but later came to while being zipped up in a body bag.

"What is this? A ziplock bag? I'm not leftovers!" Leno reportedly quipped, causing a nurse to faint while other hospital personnel burst into laughter. "Only in America will they throw you in a doggy bag as if God needs to take you to go. Goodnight, folks, you've been a wonderful audience!"

At publishing time, Jay Leno had suffered further injuries before leaving the hospital, as his wheelchair brakes malfunctioned, causing him to roll down several flights of stairs before landing on a gurney, being mistakenly taken in for surgery, and having his spleen removed.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 11/23/2024 4:37:12 AM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

And Jay has been in the news ... how?

Guess I’ll need to look.


2 posted on 11/23/2024 4:39:10 AM PST by texas booster (Join FreeRepublic's Folding@Home team (Team # 36120) Cure Alzheimer's!)
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To: texas booster

OK, it’s funny.

Except for the bus, chihuahua, and rake ... well, it’s mostly correct.

Looks like he spoke at an awards show for the self-absorbed and someone wrote about his falls, burns and whatnot, from several years of living.


3 posted on 11/23/2024 4:48:17 AM PST by texas booster (Join FreeRepublic's Folding@Home team (Team # 36120) Cure Alzheimer's!)
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To: DFG

Have you ever had a friend who just seemed to be snakebit? His life seemed to be a rolling train wreck. I have.


4 posted on 11/23/2024 5:07:42 AM PST by 6ppc (During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act -George Orwell)
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To: 6ppc

It’s been my studied opinion that 99% of the time I find myself in the situation I’m in because I put myself there.


5 posted on 11/23/2024 5:30:48 AM PST by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: DFG

😂 It’s good to laugh, love, live.


6 posted on 11/23/2024 5:36:00 AM PST by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?)
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To: DFG

I didn’t watch the entire video, but he did get banged-up.

A bruise covers the entire left side of his face and he’d busted some bones.


7 posted on 11/23/2024 5:37:42 AM PST by Does so (Blue Party + Green Party= the Blue-Green Party of Toxic Cyanobacteria ...🇺🇦...Demo☭rats...)
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To: 6ppc

Is alcohol involved in any way?


8 posted on 11/23/2024 6:12:07 AM PST by Jeff Chandler (THE ISSUE IS NEVER THE ISSUE. THE REVOLUTION IS THE ISSUE.)
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To: DFG

A rock shaped like a hand slapped him repeatedly in the face while it was resting on the ground.


9 posted on 11/23/2024 6:13:03 AM PST by philman_36 (Pride breakfasted with plenty, dined with poverty and supped with infamy. Benjamin Franklin)
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To: Does so
A bruise covers the entire left side of his face...

It was a right handed rock.

10 posted on 11/23/2024 6:14:32 AM PST by philman_36 (Pride breakfasted with plenty, dined with poverty and supped with infamy. Benjamin Franklin)
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To: DFG

Leno’s wife has dementia. He’s a standup guy.


11 posted on 11/23/2024 6:38:22 AM PST by nagant (PHENOMENON)
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To: DFG

Masonic one eye club?


12 posted on 11/23/2024 7:09:09 AM PST by Wilderness Conservative (Nature is the ultimate conservative)
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To: DFG

On PlutoTV I watched a Johnny Carson episode that was a few days before the 1980 election. I was overseas at the time so did not experience all the election tiredness—probably like the 2024 election with Hitler and all...

Anyway, Johnny came out with his monologue and his most hard hitting joke was Nancy was the Evita of Beverely Hills—which got laughs and he bactracked a bit saying he could get into trouble and not invited to the Whitehouse. (I supposed Reagan was presumed to win)

That is the political humor I like...gentle poking fun—and Jay Leno was the same that I ever heard-—a more generalized political humor—nothing vicious.

I yearn for those old days of civility...

Like poking fun at RFK jr and the bablylon bee’s recent send up of school lunches consisting of a 24 oz rib eye and a black cherry white claw seltzer....funny


13 posted on 11/23/2024 8:54:56 AM PST by abigkahuna
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To: DFG

He is a good guy. He use to stop where I worked many moons ago and chat down in Malibu Canyon. He would show everyone his latest new classic car or motorcycle. He loved being the ham and chatting with everyone on the construction site.


14 posted on 11/23/2024 10:26:48 AM PST by Organic Panic (Democrats. Memories as short as Joe Biden's eyes)
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To: philman_36

He should keep Jada Pinketts name out his mouf


15 posted on 11/23/2024 10:44:37 AM PST by al baby (I know sarcasm )
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To: Jeff Chandler

Not in my friend’s case. Hardly drinks at all. He just seems to have bad things happening to him all the time.


16 posted on 11/23/2024 12:54:39 PM PST by 6ppc (During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act -George Orwell)
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To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; BraveMan; cardinal4; ...
from Babylon Bee. Now, from the FRchives:

17 posted on 11/23/2024 2:09:40 PM PST by SunkenCiv (Putin should skip ahead to where he kills himself in the bunker.)
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