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Jill Biden Becomes First Female President
Babylon Bee ^ | 09/20/2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 09/20/2024 2:00:48 PM PDT by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — History was made during the first cabinet meeting in over 11 months today, as First Lady Dr. Jill Biden was officially sworn in as the first female president of the United States.

"Look at me. I'm the president now. What is it I'm supposed to do?" Dr. Biden said according to official White House transcripts.

According to media reports, Dr. Biden showed true leadership when she manipulated her senile husband into letting her run a cabinet meeting, where she promptly invoked the 25th amendment to have him removed from office.

Former President Joe Biden was escorted from the White House grounds by members of the Secret Service.

Cabinet members reportedly shrugged and continued with the cabinet meeting as normal, eager to report to the president — whoever that was — since they hadn't had a chance to do so in nearly a year.

According to legal experts, Dr. Biden assumed the presidency ahead of Vice President Kamala Harris due to a loophole allowing a hastily scrawled will on a napkin to override the Constitution. It is unlikely that any argument before the Supreme Court would hold.

House Speaker Mike Johnson, visibly dismayed by the news, blamed America's founding fathers. "Those fools never planned for a first lady manipulating her husband into giving her the presidency," Johnson said in a Fox News interview. "You failed us, Thomas Jefferson!"

Video footage showed the media and cabinet members applauding their new president several times throughout the meeting, clearly impressed by her moxie. "She's a real go-getter," said Antony Blinken. "I'm not even mad!"

At publishing time, President First Lady Doctor Jill Biden had declared war on Russia.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; cabinet; jillbiden; potus

1 posted on 09/20/2024 2:00:48 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Edith Wilson.


2 posted on 09/20/2024 2:08:04 PM PDT by MikelTackNailer (Knowing may be half the battle but preparedness and determination decide it.)
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To: MikelTackNailer

YES!!!!!!!


3 posted on 09/20/2024 2:09:42 PM PDT by keving (We the government are )
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To: MikelTackNailer

Yeah. That’s what I thought.

I didn’t remember her first name.


4 posted on 09/20/2024 2:21:20 PM PDT by ifinnegan (Democrats kill babies and harvest their organs to sell)
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To: DFG

So Tony Fauci is “Science” and Jill Biden is “Democracy” and that’s all we need to know for now.


5 posted on 09/20/2024 2:28:21 PM PDT by TChad
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To: DFG

Might as well make it official.


6 posted on 09/20/2024 2:41:53 PM PDT by Orosius (“Wake America Up Again )
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To: Orosius

Edith Wilson was the first.


7 posted on 09/20/2024 2:43:41 PM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: DFG

Wasn’t that actually Elanor Roosevelt?


8 posted on 09/20/2024 4:04:29 PM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus”)
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To: metmom

No post no.7 is correct, Woodrow Wilson was incapacitated and his wife was signing documents and performing other duties that were normally done by the president.


9 posted on 09/20/2024 5:38:54 PM PDT by Signalman (I am not a snob. Ask anyone who matters.)
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To: Signalman

I didn’t know that.

Learn something new every day.


10 posted on 09/20/2024 6:24:02 PM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus”)
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