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Rashida Tlaib Uninjured After Her Pager Mysteriously Explodes
Babylon Bee ^ | 09/17/2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 09/17/2024 2:50:19 PM PDT by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Capitol Police responded to an urgent call amid reports of a loud disturbance in the congressional offices today. Michigan Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib was later reportedly uninjured after her pager mysteriously exploded.

The incident occurred earlier Tuesday in Tlaib's Capitol Hill office, where her pager had been sitting on a desk before spontaneously detonating, causing a significant scare but leaving no reported injuries.

"It just blew up right out of nowhere!" one of Tlaib's staffers said following the explosion. "We were just going about our business, checking over the congresswoman's itinerary of Death-To-Israel protests, when there was a huge blast in the next room. We went in there, papers were flying everywhere, and there was smoke… thank goodness she had put the pager on the desk. Such a crazy, unexplained incident, right?"

Tlaib's staff was questioned on the origin of the pager but provided little clarification. "She said it was a gift from some dear friends," one staffer explained. "Honestly, we thought it was a little weird for a U.S. congresswoman to be carrying a pager in 2024, but didn't really think too much of it. Now it blew up in our office. I guess we're seeing why people stopped carrying pagers now, right? I mean, those things are obviously dangerous!"

At publishing time, police were called to Dearborn, Michigan after reports of several thousand pager explosions in the area.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 1800eatthis; babylonbee; beirut; dearborn; hezbollah; lebanon; pager; tlaib
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1 posted on 09/17/2024 2:50:19 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Babylon Bee strikes again!! ROFL!! Thanks for sharing!!


2 posted on 09/17/2024 2:51:57 PM PDT by mass55th (“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” ― John Wayne)
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To: DFG

Truely funny.


3 posted on 09/17/2024 2:52:10 PM PDT by Paladin2
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To: DFG

Dayum.

Had me going


4 posted on 09/17/2024 2:55:00 PM PDT by thinden (buckle up ....)
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To: DFG

The Bee is so good, they have no real competition.


5 posted on 09/17/2024 2:55:04 PM PDT by ComputerGuy (Heavily-medicated for your protection)
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To: DFG

LOL!


6 posted on 09/17/2024 2:57:23 PM PDT by OLDCU
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To: ComputerGuy

only because truth can’t be delivered unless bathing in a glaze of satire.


7 posted on 09/17/2024 2:57:42 PM PDT by xoxox
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To: mass55th
Babylon Bee strikes again!! ROFL!! Thanks for sharing!!

+1

8 posted on 09/17/2024 2:59:02 PM PDT by nuke_road_warrior (Making the world safe for nuclear power for over 20 years)
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To: DFG

Oh man, that’s too bad.


9 posted on 09/17/2024 3:02:34 PM PDT by jacknhoo (Luke 12:51; Think ye, that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, no; but separation.)
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To: DFG

Over the bleachers… Home run!


10 posted on 09/17/2024 3:05:18 PM PDT by DesertRhino (2016 Star Wars, 2020 The Empire Strikes Back, 2024... RETURN OF THE JEDI. )
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To: DFG

No doubt there have been many Democrats injured in pager incident.
Some people did something


11 posted on 09/17/2024 3:09:25 PM PDT by NoLibZone (Scary that a party can "run" a candidate that doesn't feel any need to campaign.)
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To: DFG

LOL!!!!


12 posted on 09/17/2024 3:10:28 PM PDT by Enterprise
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To: xoxox

A thick glaze in this case. Perhaps a slathering?


13 posted on 09/17/2024 3:10:44 PM PDT by ComputerGuy (Heavily-medicated for your protection)
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To: DFG

Hehehehee....


14 posted on 09/17/2024 3:11:36 PM PDT by rottndog (What comes after America?)
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To: DFG

Man, I haven’t had a pager since the early 90’s.


15 posted on 09/17/2024 3:13:48 PM PDT by ktw (72 ID, Finally Retired after 25 years!)
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To: DFG

LOL!

BB nails it once again.

However, I told hubby earlier today that we needed to watch for reports of being bureaucrats hospitalized for unspecified injuries caused by a terrible “accident”.


16 posted on 09/17/2024 3:19:45 PM PDT by CFW
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To: thinden

Me, too.

:-)


17 posted on 09/17/2024 3:24:31 PM PDT by Jane Long (The role of the GOP: to write sharply-worded letters as America becomes a communist hell-hole.)
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To: DFG
Rashida Tlaib Uninjured After Her Pager Mysteriously Explodes

Well, not all communications devices function properly.

18 posted on 09/17/2024 3:26:30 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: DFG

True story, no joke ...

She just got it the device.

She was carrying it because she thought it was one of those nice, face-hugging, Remington electric shavers.

A 2 o’clock shadow might make Minneapolis wonder why she is wearing a burka.

She was disappointed she did not get a chance to try it...

...but still told us, “that was a close shave!”


19 posted on 09/17/2024 3:27:22 PM PDT by Weirdad (Orthodox Americanism: It's what's good for the world! (Not communifascism!))
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To: DFG

These people are crazy-hilarious!


20 posted on 09/17/2024 3:31:04 PM PDT by old school
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