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Dems Unite Behind Harris [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 July 2024 | John Semmens

Posted on 07/28/2024 11:21:08 AM PDT by John Semmens

Following Biden's announced withdrawal from the 2024 election in favor of Vice-President Kamala Harris, leading Democrats united behind her.

Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass) said "Harris' was the first sitting vice-president to visit an abortion clinic. Her fanatical commitment to the vital role that abortion plays in protecting women's health is her greatest strength. When she was a senator she voted against the Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act. If it had become law it would have prevented doctors from terminating fetuses that were born alive during the abortion procedure. Her passion puts our Party way out ahead on what will be the pivotal issue in deciding which Party will win in November."

Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) called Harris "the most qualified person in our nation's history to become president. She's the Vice President of the United States. Given the obvious mental incapacity of President Biden, she could've been the de facto president during much of his administration. She's a former senator and the former attorney general from the largest state of the union where she vigorously prosecuted pot smokers even though she herself was an avid toker. This kind of impartiality demonstrates an integrity that is rare among public officeholders."

Former Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA) called Harris "a dream candidate with stellar credentials. She's been vice-president for almost four years. She's represented the whole country. She is mainstream America. She's the hope, she's the opportunity, she's the American dream. I'm confident that she will be able to unite the country behind the freedom that the Democratic Party represents and save our democracy from the dark tyranny that Trump promises to inflict on our great country."

Sen. Chris Coons (D-DE) cited "Vice-President Harris' loyalty to her mentally incapable boss helped the nation get through some tough times. Helping conceal his condition was vital to deterring our foreign adversaries from exploiting this weakness and becoming dangerously aggressive over the past three and a half years. She deserves a term of her own and I think voters will give it to her."

On the other hand, Black Lives Matter denounced "the undemocratic installation of a presidential nominee that no one voted for. It was bad enough that a decrepit Joe Biden was put forward as the only well-known Democrat who would be allowed on the Party's 2024 primary ballots. Cornel West, Robert Kennedy, and Marianne Williamson were explicitly excluded. Now that Biden has acknowledged he can't run, the leaders of the Party are repeating their effort to deny Democrat voters any say in the matter. A recent CNN poll showed that 73% of Democrats want someone other Harris as the Party's nominee. By cramming a person with only 27% voter support down our throats the Party leaders aren't saving democracy. They're destroying it."

In related news, Rep. Andy Ogles (R-TN) filed articles of impeachment against Vice President Kamala Harris citing "her failure to abate the flood of illegal immigration into our country and her concealment of President Biden's dementia. One of this nation's biggest failures during the Biden Administration was its refusal to defend our borders from the invasion of hordes of aliens--most of whom are living at the taxpayers' expense and some of whom are criminals and terrorists. Since Biden assigned Harris to handle the border crisis on March 24, 2021 she bears a major responsibility for the disaster our border has become during her tenure. Second, having a president who is non compos mentis is a serious national security threat. Harris' role in helping to cover up this threat shows she is unfit to hold public office."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,537863.0.html


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: blacklivesmatter; boxer; coons; satire; schiff; warren

1 posted on 07/28/2024 11:21:08 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

“Dems Unite Behind Harris...”

Big conga line behind Willie Brown. 😎


2 posted on 07/28/2024 11:45:48 AM PDT by Bonemaker (invictus maneo)
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To: John Semmens

♪ ♫ ♬ kama-lama-ding-dong, woo-hoo! ♪ ♫ ♬


3 posted on 07/28/2024 12:49:55 PM PDT by Carriage Hill (A society grows great when old men plant trees, in whose shade they know they will never sit.)
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To: John Semmens

“Democrats united behind her.”

I wasn’t aware there were any democratas that haven’t already united behind her.

wy69


4 posted on 07/28/2024 12:53:29 PM PDT by whitney69
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