Posted on 06/28/2024 10:09:53 AM PDT by DFG
U.S. — As summer ramped up heading into the important home stretch to the November presidential election, an alarming new study found that 33% of Americans are dumber than a bag of hammers.
News channel CNN conducted a poll asking viewers who won last night's debate between Joe Biden and Donald Trump, with a shocking 33% of people responding that they suffer from advanced cognitive impairment, officially placing them at or beyond the stupidity of a box of rocks.
"We can confirm over one-third of the country is drooling morons," said Dr. Bradford Doran, head of the research team conducting the poll. "While it's always been suspected that a significant number of Americans were mindless idiots, no one ever suspected that there were this many of them. It's fascinating and yet terrifying at the same time."
Experts confirmed that anyone who holds the opinion that Biden performed well enough in the debate to win could only be scientifically classified as a total imbecile. "It's true," Dr. Doran confirmed. "While people are entitled to their own opinions, anyone who honestly believes Biden won the debate can be clinically classified under the technical term ‘nincompoop.'"
Though many people were shocked by the study's findings, others were not taken aback whatsoever. "You've been out in public, right?" asked an unsurprised citizen Chad Gleiser. "You can't go fill up at the gas station without running across at least a few blithering oafs. It's not surprising at all that 33% of people in this country are as sharp as bowling balls."
At publishing time, results of the study also confirmed that a majority of the 33% work within the federal government in Washington, D.C.
What kind of “bag of ____” were the other 67% dumber than?
And some are dumber than that...
Gosh, I thought this was a legitimate story! The title is certainly in line with Joe Biden’s approval rating!
Pretty much but libtard states are even higher
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New benchmark test in the yearly Medicare checkup.
And all of those hammers are sitting in the peanut gallery listening to the Demented one tell lies in North Carolina. They put the blacks in the seats behind him. Real retards. Tater Swuft’s Tater Tots.
At least hammers are useful.
I’d amend that to say over 40%.
In 1984, in the greatest Presidential landslide victory of our lifetimes, nebbish Walter Mondale still received over 40% of the popular vote. In other words, a minimum of 40% of the voters will vote for anyone with the Democrat label.
Based on some of the street interviews I have seen, the 33% is a very generous assessment.
Alarming Study Finds 33% Of Americans Are Dumber Than a Bag of Hammers, The Rest Aren’t Even That Smart.
Yes, I have seen the same thing. Truth in advertising would require them to tell you how many folks didn't have the IQ of a lemon. You only see those folks. Granted, it is depressing that those people can vote, but I don't believe it is representative.
If they’re so dumb, then why does Deep State have to steal their elections...?
I know it’s the Bee ...
But out here in real life, half the population is below average.
Because 33% doesn’t win elections
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