Posted on 06/22/2024 10:53:27 AM PDT by Zhang Fei
A Russian Jew had been allowed to emigrate to Israel.
At Moscow airport, customs found a Lenin statue in his baggage and asked him, "What is this?"
The man replied, "What is this? Wrong question comrade. You should have asked, Who is he? This is Comrade Lenin. He laid the foundations of socialism and created the future and prosperity of the Russian people. I am taking it with me as a memory of our hero days."
The Russian customs officer was a bit shamed and let him go without further inspection.
At Tel Aviv airport, the customs officer also asks our friend, "What is this?"
He replies, "What is this? Wrong question Sir. You should be asking 'Who is this?' This is Lenin, a bastard that made me, as a Jew leave Russia. I take this statue with me so I can curse him every day."
The Israeli customs officer said, "I apologize Sir, you can go on."
In Israel, when he arrives at his new house, he puts the statue on a table.
To celebrate his immigration, he invites his friends and relatives to dinner.
One of his friends asks him, "Who is this?"
He replies, "My dear friend, 'Who is this' is a wrong question. You should have asked, “What is this? This is ten kilograms of solid gold that I managed to bring with me without customs and tax."
LOL!
Very good!
Excellemundo!
At the end of a long work day, an employee left his factory, pushing a wheelbarrow through the gate to head home. Inside the wheelbarrow was sawdust.
The security guard stopped the man and asked, “What have you got in your wheelbarrow?”
“I’ve got sawdust,” he said. “The sawdust from the shop floor. At the end of the day, it gets swept up and is thrown away. I needed some, so I’m taking it home.”
The guard carefully probes the sawdust. Sure enough, it was nothing but sawdust. He sent the worker on his way.
The next day, the same thing happened.
The third day, same thing.
And the fourth day.
On the fifth day, the worker again came through with a wheelbarrow and sawdust. This time the security guard said, “It’s you again with your wheelbarrow and your sawdust. I’ve got a feeling that you’re up to something. I think you’re actually stealing something. Look, why don’t you tell me what you’re stealing, and I promise I won’t report you.”
“Okay,” the worker said, “I’m stealing wheelbarrows.”
If you go to a black picnic in the south, there will be fried chicken and watermelon more often that you think. When Italians talk they are loud and use their hands. Brits have bad teeth. French eat weird foods and can be obnoxious. Germans are control freaks and are blockheaded. Chinese are inscrutable with motives we often miss. American Indians get drunker, faster on the same amount of booze. Feminists are usually fat, ugly and rude and don’t dress well.
Stereotypes didn’t just fall out of the sky. They are all based in fact while not being a 100% prediction. (Nothing actually is)
BTW, the “Charlie Chan” actor was Warner Oland from Sweden, and the Crying Indian from the litter commercial was Espera Oscar de Corti , 100% Italian/Sicilian form Louisiana. Sacheen Littlefeather who accepted Marlon Brando’s Oscar with a protest speech was Maria Louise Cruz European mom, Mexican dad. The Cisco Kid’s beaner accent sidekick Pancho was Leo Carrillo was a skilled cartoonist, Vaudevillian, and an articulate men who didn’t have a trace of an accent.
I don’t what the point is, but Mad Magazine nailed it with the “Remember when foreigners were funny?” episode.
There’s a Jewish man on TikTok who tells an endless stream of “inside baseball” Jewish jokes. He’s freaking hilarious.
I know, Duncan Renaldo was not Mexican but was born in Romania and as I said, not that there is anything wrong with that.
*** If you go to a black picnic in the south, there will be fried chicken and watermelon more often that you think.***
I don’t disagree with what you said, but if you go ANY picnic in the south, you will often find fried chicken and watermelon. Skin color matters not.
I needed that!
Pretty amazing when you start looking into famous minorities.
Tuco from the Good Bad and the Ugly is another one. Plays a drunken untrustworthy greedy Mexican bandit of the worst morals. He was a man of Jewish and Italian descent. A US Army officer in WWII and served from 1940 to the end of the war honorably. Tee totaler, not a drop of alcohol, married one woman and spend 66 years with her till he died at the age of 98.
Must amaze his grandkids to see that role he played and know how he really was.
"When you have to shoot, shoot; don't talk"
Smoooooth operator.
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