Posted on 01/19/2024 8:56:39 PM PST by John Semmens
Dissatisfied with the poor results of its COVID-19 pandemic, scientists in China have announced the development of a new mutation (known as GX_P2V) that has achieved a 100% fatality rate among the "humanized mice" used as test subjects. Every rodent was dead within eight days of the onset of infection.
China's Minister of Science and Technology Yin Hejun congratulated his staff "for this remarkable breakthrough. Instead of the largely ineffectual and minor respiratory impacts of our previous attempt our new virus actually liquefies the brain. Survival once infected is virtually impossible."
Yin acknowledged that "this virus has the potential to eliminate all animal life on Earth. So it is very risky. It is crucial that we do our utmost to avoid the kind of accidental release of this pathogen that occurred with COVID in 2019 until we have developed an antidote to protect the Chinese people. In the meantime, the knowledge that China possesses a doomsday weapon should deter attacks on us by the anti-progressive imperialists of the West. At the very least, our reincorporation of Taiwan into the Chinese empire should go unopposed."
Professor Francois Balloux, an infectious disease expert at University College London, called the research "appalling in its arrogance. It has the potential to be the ultimate crime against humanity and bring about the destruction of all life on our planet."
Professor Richard Ebright, a chemist at Rutgers University in New Jersey, echoed Balloux's concerns, saying "the pure malevolence of such research is unbounded. There is no legitimate scientific justification for it."
Dr. Anthony Fauci disagreed, pointing out that "there is no guarantee that a deadly virus like this could evolve on its own. By forging ahead like the Chinese have done we at least will have a chance that an antidote might be found before a naturally evolving super bug decimates life on Earth. That's why I have always supported gain-of-function research of this type."
This breakthrough was the topic of some discussion at the World Economic Forum meeting in Davos this week. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, the director general of WHO, observed that "we must keep an open mind. Right now, the human population is more than ten times as large as is optimal for preventing dangerous climate change. Some efficient and merciful method is needed to whittle it down to a safer level. We mustn't be too harsh in our judgment of those who are exploring potentially effective remedies."
In related news, Professor Emeritus Masanori Fukushima of Kyoto University announced that "a systematic review of thousands of papers on COVID has found side effects after vaccination that have increased the mortality rate for leukemia, breast cancer, ovarian cancer and other diseases. There are also indications of increased incidences of mental disorders, psychiatric symptoms, depression, mania, and anxiety. The purported remedy of vaccination may actually have been worse than COVID itself."
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/356926-2024-01-19-semi-news-semi-satire-january-21-2024-edition.htm
ping
Another good one, John but I’m still looking for the satire part…
Why don’t they try it on “mousified humans” like the rodent-faced Tony Fauci?
Good article John. However, it appears to be more actual reporting and news than satire...
Next will be one that kills 110%!
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