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Biden Institutes Call To Gay Prayer 5 Times A Day Facing San Francisco
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/13/2023 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/13/2023 2:21:05 PM PDT by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another step to establish gay stuff as the official state-sponsored religion in the United States, President Joe Biden has signed an executive order instituting the call to gay prayer, ordering it to take place five times every day, with everyone facing toward San Francisco.

"The gay prayer is part of the bedrock of American life," Biden said in his proclamation. "Each and every American must now kneel down facing the direction of San Francisco and recite the gay prayer. You got that, folks? Just don't kneel down on a rainbow crosswalk — that would be sacrilegious. Sump pump targlefruffurg!"

While LGBTQ+ activists cheered the announcement, many Americans voiced their concerns about the prayer. "There's a ‘gay prayer' now?" asked concerned citizen David Cathcart. "Who are they praying to? I think I have an idea, but if that's true, I really don't want to be praying to that individual, you know what I mean?"

In spite of criticism, the Biden administration remains committed to pushing its public support for gay stuff even further. "The President knows all Americans are on board with this," said one White House source. "We've got other plans as well, including taking a new type of sacrament with Skittles and Bud Light, and we're talking to Dylan Mulvaney to serve as like a Gay Pope type of thing. It's going to be great!"

At publishing time, Biden himself was preparing to give a personal demonstration of the gay prayer, though he was last heard asking for help to show him which direction San Francisco was.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; biden; gayprayer; sacrament; sanfrancisco

1 posted on 06/13/2023 2:21:05 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Someday this will be true...under a Rat President that is.


2 posted on 06/13/2023 2:39:44 PM PDT by Gay State Conservative (Two Words: BANANA REPUBLIC!)
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To: DFG

TARGET! Fire for effect!


3 posted on 06/13/2023 2:46:42 PM PDT by Delta 21 (MAGA Republican is my pronoun.)
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To: DFG
"Sump pump targlefruffurg!"

That's our president!

4 posted on 06/13/2023 3:21:07 PM PDT by TChad (Progressives are in favor of removing healthy sex organs from children. Conservatives oppose this.)
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To: DFG

It’s called a “Him”


5 posted on 06/13/2023 3:22:09 PM PDT by bigbob (Q)
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To: DFG

Probably safer than facing away from SF....


6 posted on 06/13/2023 4:37:31 PM PDT by gundog (It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. )
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To: Gay State Conservative

It pretty much is at this point, sadly.


7 posted on 06/13/2023 5:27:54 PM PDT by No name given (Anonymous is who you’ll know me as)
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