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Incident Shows Guns Unnecessary [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 May 2023 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/20/2023 11:39:37 AM PDT by John Semmens

In Alpena Township, Michigan, 13-year-old Owen Burns thwarted the attempted kidnapping of his 8-year-old sister by using a slingshot to scare off the 17-year-old assailant. After being hit in the head and chest with pellets launched from the slingshot the would-be kidnapper ran away.

Presidential Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre cited this incident as "proof that the President's plan to outlaw AR-15 type rifles would not leave potential victims without recourse if they are attacked by criminals. If a teenage boy can do the job with just a slingshot there's no telling what a fully grown adult could do."

"As this example shows, non-lethal armament prevented a very serious crime from being carried out," she said. "Unlike situations where firearms are used for defense no one was killed. The right-wing claim that guns are necessary is debunked. As long as slingshots are freely available for purchase the Second Amendment right to bear arms can be preserved after private ownership of guns is banned."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,500237.0.html


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: crime; guns; satire; secondamendment

1 posted on 05/20/2023 11:39:37 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

The FIB should not even have slingshots.


2 posted on 05/20/2023 11:42:21 AM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of Colorado scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
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To: John Semmens

Actually, it does show the need for guns.


3 posted on 05/20/2023 11:47:00 AM PDT by No name given (Anonymous is who you’ll know me as)
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To: John Semmens

Let us see them go fishing in Grizzly country with slingshot protection.


4 posted on 05/20/2023 11:52:46 AM PDT by mountainlion (Live well those that did not make it back.)
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To: John Semmens

I think it was Crosman that made a slingshot that fed 1/4” ball bearings from the bottom of the handle. I had a couple of them in the ‘70s. There would have to be some kind of restrictions on those.


5 posted on 05/20/2023 11:54:06 AM PDT by gundog (It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. )
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To: John Semmens

Let someone face a criminal who has an illegally-obtained gun with a wrist rocket. See how quickly they’re laughed at and shot.


6 posted on 05/20/2023 12:11:09 PM PDT by Tacrolimus1mg (Do no harm, but take no sh!t.)
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To: John Semmens

The trained minkey babbles......


7 posted on 05/20/2023 1:45:44 PM PDT by doorgunner69 (Let's go Brandon)
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To: John Semmens

Many places restrict Slingshot sales to minors.
Not a joke.


8 posted on 05/20/2023 1:58:17 PM PDT by MattMusson (Sometimes the wind bweek.lows too much)
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To: gundog

Sounds like a fully-semi-automatic assault slingshot.

Scary!


9 posted on 05/20/2023 2:13:26 PM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: Disambiguator
Found it! The Marksman Fireball....


10 posted on 05/20/2023 4:09:11 PM PDT by gundog (It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. )
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To: gundog

Probably fairly obvious, but I’m going to ask anyway: Is that a crude sight on the side?


11 posted on 05/20/2023 4:55:30 PM PDT by Antihero101607
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To: Antihero101607

Yeah. It could be switched to whichever side. Pretty accurate.


12 posted on 05/20/2023 4:56:59 PM PDT by gundog (It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. )
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To: John Semmens
"Incident Shows Guns Unnecessary"

Slingshots often only offer a temporary solution to a recurring problem rather than a permanent one.
13 posted on 05/20/2023 9:45:24 PM PDT by clearcarbon (Fraudulent elections have consequences.)
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To: John Semmens
If a teenage boy can do the job with just a slingshot there's no telling what a fully grown adult could do."

Felony of the fourth degree

In New Jersey, slingshots are considered per se dangerous weapons. Title 2c – The New Jersey Code Of Criminal Justice Section 2C:39-3 (e) makes possession of any type of slingshot without “any explainable lawful purpose” a felony of the fourth degree. What non-weapon, lawful use is not explained in the statute and is up to the judge.

Obviously self-defense is not a lawful purpose in new Jersey.

14 posted on 05/21/2023 5:45:19 AM PDT by JimRed (TERM LIMITS, NOW! Militia to the border! TRUTH is the new HATE SPEECH.)
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