Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Senator Fetterman Seeks Treatment For Depression After Realizing He's A Senator
Babylon Bee ^ | 02/17/2023 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/17/2023 3:21:57 PM PST by DFG

WASHINGTON, DC — Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman checked himself into Walter Reed Medical Center in the nation's capital to seek treatment for clinical depression after coming to the realization that he was a member of the United States Congress.

"It just suddenly dawned on him," said a member of Fatterman's staff under the condition of anonymity. "This entire time, ever since winning the election in November, he thought he was on some type of fun fantasy trip. Once he realized he was now just another slimy politician, he got kinda bummed out."

Already struggling with the continuing effects of a stroke he suffered while on the campaign trail, Fetterman's condition has only declined, with those close to him fearing for his health. "He got so depressed and despondent that he started dressing in his even more casual hoodies and sweatpants," said another concerned staffer. "When he started wearing his sleeveless hoodies, we knew things were getting worse."

The Senator's wife, Gisele Barreto Fetterman, also expressed concern for her husband's well-being. "If anything were to happen to him, I don't know what I would do," she said as she carried boxes of her own belongings into Fetterman's office in the U.S. Capitol. "This is completely off-topic, but is it standard practice for spouses to be appointed in place of incapacitated members of Congress?"

At publishing time, Dr. Oz had also checked himself into the hospital for depression after seeing who he had lost the election to.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; depression; fetterman; gisele; senator

1 posted on 02/17/2023 3:21:57 PM PST by DFG
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: DFG

Compete satire!

He would recognize that when he was a partial functioning human being.

Now he’s a completely malfunctioning human. And a fully functional Democrat.


2 posted on 02/17/2023 3:27:07 PM PST by Celerity
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

I know this is the Bee, but, in reality, he’s probably depressed because he finally realized his wife wants his job.


3 posted on 02/17/2023 3:36:51 PM PST by RoosterRedux
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

ROTFL!


4 posted on 02/17/2023 3:54:21 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Remember what FJB Brandon said, "...more than half of the women in my administration are women.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FlingWingFlyer

His “wife” is a real biatch. A damn anti-American political activist. She was born in Brazil so she is not an American as we know it. She’s a U.S. citizen and that’s about it. Anybody can be a U.S. citizen these days. All you have to do is walk up to the border with your hand out and wearing a hundred dollar Laker or Dodgers hat.


5 posted on 02/17/2023 4:03:09 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Remember what FJB Brandon said, "...more than half of the women in my administration are women.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Uncle Festerman


6 posted on 02/17/2023 4:05:56 PM PST by OrangeHoof (No food in the stores; fuel prices too high? Thank a liberal.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG
The Bee is awesome but Fetterman should self medicate:


7 posted on 02/17/2023 4:06:10 PM PST by maddog55 (The only thing systemic in America is the left's hatred of it!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: maddog55

He’d probably use it if he could get his hands on it right now.


8 posted on 02/17/2023 4:08:12 PM PST by Golden Eagle (The LGBT indoctrination agenda is designed to outlaw the Bible, and anyone who believes it.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Fetterman has had depression for years and wanted to be Senator because he knew his Medical Bills will be -horrendous.
Now he gets all his Med Bills paid for and gets a large salary at the same time at tax payers expense.


9 posted on 02/17/2023 4:24:46 PM PST by chopperk ( )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson