Posted on 12/03/2022 12:05:02 PM PST by DFG
U.S. — After the men's national team was dealt a crushing 1-3 loss by the Netherlands, the United States expressed deep relief to no longer have to go on pretending to like soccer.
"Hoo-boy, I didn't think I could keep that up another day," said local man Aaron Bronson. "Thank God for the Dutch!"
After twelve grueling days of trying to get excited about a ball mostly being passed backward, celebrations broke out across America as its World Cup run came to a close. "I know we only have to fake being soccer fans every four years, but it's been a brutal couple of weeks," said local bar owner Greg Jaster. "We scored three goals in SIX HOURS of soccer! And I have it on good authority from a Brazilian buddy of mine that our last goal was actually an accident. I'm trying to be a good patriot and cheer for our team, but come on."
According to people who watch soccer, the U.S. team actually looked better while losing during this World Cup. "The Americans really didn't get outplayed, they just made awful mistakes in all the big moments," said England native Sean O'Houlihan. "They created wide-open shots, and then completely whiffed. They would play excellent defense against the best strikers in the world - but then would totally forget to mark a mediocre player. It's really rather tragic."
At publishing time, no one had understood a word Mr. O'Houlihan had said and switched the channel over to real football.
😄
LOL, I’ll actually watch most games. It’s only every 4 years.
I helped coach my sons soccer team....I despise soccer...find it boring to the extreme!!!
I think baseball tops them all
Well l didn’t pretend. I hate soccer.
Hilarious!!
The BB better quit reporting real news. It’ll ruin their reputation...
The USA women’s soccer team has done ‘soccer’ no favors with their behavior in the past. The men weren’t so bad this year, but it’s still pretty boring to watch, IMO .... and that observation is coming from someone who went to all the niece/nephews soccer games when they were growing up & loved it.
Some of these players have their hair done up into a big top handle like they are ready for a big BJ date.
I hate soccer, but I hated Iran even more. Was on the end of my seat during THAT match. Of course it would have been the same if it had been competitive origami....
Funny.
But I love soccer, especially the world cup.
And it’s not really a joke - my husband expressed sincere relief when he heard today that the US lost to the Netherlands.
I don’t get it. Soccer is a good game. I like golf better, but soocer is good for my wounded knee and weak quad.
The Bee misses my mark here. I don’t bother pretending to like soccer. It’s a festering boil of boredom. Like euopean hockey, it’s full of diver’s and people playing not to lose. In the immortal words of GWP, “ Americans love a winner. Americans will not tolerate a loser. Americans despise cowards. Americans play to win all of the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Americans have never lost nor will ever lose a war; for the very idea of losing is hateful to an American.”
Yeah, but the Netherlands are prepping to shut down 3,000 farms to meet their climate goals. Fidiots!
I watched some of the games. I’ll have to say that the Academy award for Best Actor goes to every single player in this tourney.......barely get touched and writhing on ground follows.
Now THAT is good clean fun.
—> I think baseball tops them all
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