Posted on 11/09/2022 10:48:26 AM PST by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Amid record discontent around the economy, inflation, and education, the Republican Party has narrowly managed to stave off what many thought would be a record-breaking red wave.
"This was a close call," said one Republican leader in Washington. "We were worried that we would achieve massive victories tonight, but we thankfully snatched defeat from the jaws of victory to achieve a much more proper and sensible red trickle, like the proper gentlemen we are."
Some Republicans achieved major victories, which were largely ignored by party leadership due to the fact that those Republicans were loud and icky "MEGA-MAGA" culture warriors. "Ron DeSantis won by double digits, and frankly, we find that quite uncouth," said a D.C. consultant while holding up a glass of red trickle victory champagne. "Everyone knows the key to being a good Republican is to muddle your message and make it really squishy so no one knows what you stand for and everyone will like you. Duh!"
Everyone in the room then golf-clapped politely.
At publishing time, Republican strategists were researching ways to keep their power in D.C. without achieving so much power that they'd actually have to become compelling leaders.
True that, Bee.
That’s not even close to being satire 😏
Graham saying when we take the Senate we will pass a national abortion ban certainly was a sabotage move to stave off a wave.
Best account of the election by a mile.
Told you so. They could not allow MAGA to win.
This must be a typo, first are there any GOP leaders? 2nd, aren't all GOP RINOs breathing a sigh of relief.
Yep.
Graham, romney, mcconnell, mccain........I defy anyone to show me a difference between any of those two faced backstabbers.
HUGE LOSS FOR DEMOCRATS.....
NY Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney just conceded to NYP endorsed Mike Lawler —
a shocking defeat — Maloney IS THE chair of the House Democrats’
campaign FINANCE arm. https://politi.co/3TnBkQD
Republican strategists were researching ways to keep their power in D.C. without achieving so much power that they’d actually have to become compelling leaders.
Ain’t that the truth
Nevada news:
Jon Ralston
@RalstonReports
This is big news from @ColtonLochhead.
Elko, Douglas and Nye are larger rurals and almost surely will add thousands of ballots to Laxalt’s total, make CCM’s climb more difficult.
quote:
@ColtonLochhead
As for what we have left in the rurals:
Elko - About 1k mail ballots left to count
Douglas - Elx dept says they receive “thousands” of mail ballots yesterday.
Nye, Humboldt, Eureka and Churchill say they are still catching up, and expect to be done between Thurs and Sat.
Lots of surprises this go-around.
Never expected a Laxalt win.
And clearly there was a lot of organized fraud this election. When so many impartial polls didn't match the results, something bad happened. My guess is that harvested mail-in ballots by the Democrats played a huge role.
The pubbies have an uncanny ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
Graham is a liberal mole.
I have long been saying that the Republican leadership does not want to be in control. Witness their behavior every time we’ve given them both houses, the Presidency and a nominally conservative Supreme Court. They threw it away without accomplishing anything of significance.
Usually the Bee is funny not so dead serious like this.
Bee nails it
This may be the Babylon Bee, but it is the honest truth!
Conservatives in this country have two major enemies: Leftist democrats and the Republican Party.
Too few people seem to realize this…
“We make just as much money as the ‘loyal’ opposition and don’t have to do any work.”
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