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New Sarah McLachlan Ad Says For Only $8 Per Month You Can Sponsor A Celebrity's Verified Twitter Account
Babylon Bee ^ | 11/03/2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 11/03/2022 1:07:19 PM PDT by DFG

VANCOUVER, BC — This week, the Society For Prevention Of Cruelty To Celebrities (SPCC) launched a nationwide campaign to raise awareness about public figures buckling under a new expense that seems targeted specifically at them. The commercial advocates for compassionate viewers to donate $8 per month to sponsor a celebrity's verified blue checkmark on Twitter.

"Hi, I'm Sarah McLachlan. Please say you will be the answer for an innocent celebrity who is suffering right now from this cruel tax designed to reduce the status of high-status people – the $8 monthly charge for a verified blue checkmark on Twitter." Sarah McLachlan delivers her appeal directly into the camera in the new commercial, gently cradling a scraggly and ill-kempt Stephen King as he moans quietly over the soft crooning of "In The Arms Of An Angel."

The commercial pans over several other destitute Twitter celebrities, including Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who holds out her hand with a poochie lip as the voiceover summarizes options for a one-time gift, monthly pledge, or ‘The AOC Package' – where you "pledge to make everything on Twitter free because, like, shouldn't it be about free speech anyways?"

As the commercial progresses, McLachlan enumerates the needs of wealthy online figures, including shelter, care, and being rescued from bullies who are making them pay a marginal amount for a marginal dose of online status. She even called out to "any widows who may be listening" by asking them to "step out on faith" and give their last $8 to a helpless Twitter celebrity stuck out in the cold.

Since the commercial's airing, $16 has been raised.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: aoc; mclachlan; spcc; twitter

1 posted on 11/03/2022 1:07:19 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

*grin*


2 posted on 11/03/2022 1:20:15 PM PDT by sauropod (The New York Times' 1619 Project's Nikole Hannah-Jones: "all journalism is activism.")
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To: DFG

For the less than the cost of one cup of coffee a day, you can help an unemployed journalist continue to feel relevant...


3 posted on 11/03/2022 1:24:20 PM PDT by Boogieman
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To: DFG

LOL - good one.

(I have a theory - one of the reasons Musk bought Twitter was to ‘right’ the obvious injustice to the Bee when they were banned (and to protect the rest of us who are NOT white liberal elite scum)


4 posted on 11/03/2022 1:28:37 PM PDT by GOPJ (Biden: Creepiest. President. Ever.)
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To: DFG
Please sponsor me, I’m dumb and ugly. I need your help.

5 posted on 11/03/2022 1:30:31 PM PDT by ConservativeInPA ( Scratch a leftist and you'll find a fascist )
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To: DFG

Awww... Sarah is such a sweetheart!


6 posted on 11/03/2022 1:33:01 PM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: DFG
the Society For Prevention Of Cruelty To Celebrities (SPCC)


7 posted on 11/03/2022 1:35:21 PM PDT by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
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To: DFG

I can’t wait to see the commercial, is it 2 minutes long like the others and showing depressed, sad, unhealthy liberals tied to trees or poles?


8 posted on 11/03/2022 1:36:57 PM PDT by 1Old Pro
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To: DFG

But is there mournful music playing in the background? That would make all the difference.


9 posted on 11/03/2022 2:05:14 PM PDT by LizzieD
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To: DFG
Since the commercial's airing, $16 has been raised.

That was me. I simply cannot imagine life without the sage guidance of Barbra and Cher.

10 posted on 11/03/2022 2:09:57 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Magnum44

saw her live on stage in Young frankinstien she was awesome


11 posted on 11/03/2022 2:13:34 PM PDT by al baby (Yes I know thats Padma )
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To: DFG

I volunteer to pay the $8/mo for “Meathead” Rob Reiner so long as I can be his Archie Bunker.


12 posted on 11/03/2022 2:18:08 PM PDT by SamAdams76 (4,439,437 active user on Truth Social)
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To: DFG

I thought it was her being funny but noooooooooo....the Bee!!!!!!!!!!!


13 posted on 11/03/2022 2:21:54 PM PDT by xp38
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To: al baby

Sarah or Sally?


14 posted on 11/03/2022 2:28:52 PM PDT by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
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To: DFG

I’ll bite!😂 As long as I get to edit!


15 posted on 11/03/2022 2:47:19 PM PDT by 6ppc (Democrats would have to climb Everest to reach the level of "scum of the earth")
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