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Biden Offers Access for Votes [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 30 Oct 2022 | John Semmens

Posted on 10/30/2022 9:50:55 AM PDT by John Semmens

Polls showing that Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney (D-NY), chair of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, may be unseated by GOP challenger Assemblyman Mike Lawler inspired President Biden to make an offer of "an open door access to my administration" to Rabbi David Twersky. Twersky is revered by Hasidic Jews in his district who are considered likely to heed the Rabbi's advice and vote for Maloney if he tells them to do so.

It might be a tough sell, though. Hassidic Jews in NY went heavily for Trump in the 2020 election. Maloney's support for ending cash bail, which many credit for a surge in the city's crime rate--including unprovoked assaults on Jews--may be a significant factor in turning this traditionally "safe" Democrat seat into a "toss up" race.

While the offer of an explicit payoff in exchange for votes is illegal, Biden discounted the possibility that he would be prosecuted for his influence peddling offer, saying "look, I've done this before. As you may recall, I leveraged my position as Vice-President to get a Ukrainian prosecutor who was harassing my son Hunter fired. I said if the guy wasn't gone by the time my flight departed Ukraine in a few hours I'd see to it that the billion dollar aid package they wanted wouldn't be paid. Son of a bitch, the guy got fired. I wasn't prosecuted then and I won't be now because Democrats again control the Department of Justice. It's called prosecutorial discretion."

In demented presidential news, Biden says that "inflation is no big deal. People can cope by reducing their expenditures on food. One trick that has worked for me is to get my Secret Service guys to pay for my ice cream, I point out that I never carry a wallet because it bags out my suit pants and that it's too dangerous for me to confront a potentially armed shopkeeper. It never fails."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,483611.0.html


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: bribery; corruption; inflation; satire

1 posted on 10/30/2022 9:50:55 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Beautiful........


2 posted on 10/30/2022 10:02:53 AM PDT by Liz (MAN PROPOSES.......... GOD DISDISPOSES)
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To: John Semmens

Remember, Kalifornia is the petri dish, experiments of all kinds (especially vote manipulation). The rest of the universe calls it fraud. About the week before the Recall Election, the brilliant and courageous /s Kalifornia Governor announced he was providing full access to the ballot on the internet. They used the regular excuses: racism, full access for all marginal peoples, did I mention racism. So, one could just access the ballot and print, print, print! No possibility of any shenanigans there. Also, within just a few minutes of the polls closing, it was announced that the Recall had failed. If the Recall had been winning, or even close, they would have taken weeks or longer for ‘every vote to be counted.’ This is democRAT code for ‘how many votes do we need to create for our side to win.’


3 posted on 10/30/2022 11:48:42 AM PDT by Ronaldus Magnus III (Do, or do not, there is no try. )
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