Skip to comments.Vladimir Putin Joke of the Day
Posted on 10/07/2022 10:24:33 AM PDT by Salgak
Vladimir Putin was being briefed by one of his top generals.
"I've good news and bad news for you this morning, sir."
"Let's hear the good news," Putin replied.
"Intelligence reports indicate that the latest additions to the Ukranian arsenal are damaged and outdated, and many won't pose any threat to us at all."
"That's excellent! Finally, things might be starting to turn our way! What's the bad the news?"
The general shifted in his seat and looked down at the table. "A large amount of our best weapons and munitions have just been captured, sir."
LOL!!! I just picked up this joke:
A man is on a street corner in Moscow yelling “The president is an idiot!“
Police surround him and handcuff him. They say, “It is illegal to insult President Putin”
He says “You don’t understand! I mean the Ukrainian president, Zelensky. He is the one I was insulting!“
The police captain says, “You can’t fool us. Everyone knows who the idiot is.”
Hey, why can’t they all be idiots? Ours is!
>> The police captain says, “You can’t fool us. Everyone knows who the idiot is.” <<
I don’t get it. Why would a Ukrainian OR a Russian refer to Joe Biden as their president?
Here is a Putin joke I heard the other day:
Putin’s car was racing along a back road, as he was late for a tryst.
The car came around a corner and hit a hog in the middle of the road,
killing it. He told the chauffeur to stop, saying,
‘That hog was probably the farmers food for this winter. Go up to the
farmhouse on the hill and tell him that you killed it.’
So the chauffeur heaves himself out of the sedan and trudges up the
hill to the farm house, goes in and doesn’t come back for an hour. He
gets back in the driver’s seat totally drunk and reeking of vodka.
Putin asks where the heck he has been and what took so long. The driver
says he went in and the farmer set him down and got him drunk and
offered food aplenty. Then, the farmer’s daughter came out and
enticed the driver into her room where he received pleasures untold.
Putin asked, ‘Exactly, what did you say to the farmer?’ The driver said,
‘I told him, ‘I am Putin’s chauffeur and I just killed the pig.”
Q: What’s the difference between Putin and Hitler?
A: Hitler knew when to kill himself
THAT was funny!!!
The question is, Is Putin Hitler or The Kaiser?
You got rid of the Kaiser, only to get Hitler later on.
Putin, Xi and a donkey walk into a bar...
Vladimir Putin died and went to hell.
After 5 years, the Devil decided that Putin had adjusted well to his damnation, and gave him a day off.
Putin went to his favorite pub in Moscow and ordered a beer.
Putin asked the bartender, “Do we still have the Crimea?”
“Yes, we do,” said the bartender.
“Good! What about the Donbas?”
“What about Kiev?”
“It’s the pride of our country!”
“Great!” said Putin. “Now I can go back and enjoy my continued eternity in hell. How much do I owe for the drink?”
“That will be 5 Euros,” said the bartender.
An older version of that joke had Bill Clinton instead of Putin.
This is no joke ... Putin was asked what he would do differently, if it was early 2022 and he had a chance to try again. “I would say that I was going into Ukraine to get rid of the pro-Trump white nationalists,” he said.
At least it would have united Free Republic.
Half of Ukraine’s Tank Fleet Made Up of Captured Russian Equipment: U.K.
British intelligence: More than half of Ukrainian tanks - captured from Russians
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