Posted on 08/20/2022 1:40:53 PM PDT by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Pentagon has announced they will be making the new Monkeypox vaccine mandatory, but just for the Navy.
"After careful research into how Monkeypox is spread, we have determined the Navy to be at dire risk," said Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin. "The other branches, meh - should be fine."
The Pentagon became aware of the acute danger Monkeypox presented after the entire crew of the U.S.S. Harvey Milk tested positive last week. "That ship is something out of a nightmare, it's like a haunted house right now," said physician Dr. Ryan Walter. "We heard reports of the first case last week, then all of a sudden - boom! The whole ship goes down. Quite the medical mystery."
The new mandate comes on the heels of the Defense Department losing tens of thousands of soldiers who declined the COVID vaccine. "In a time of historic recruitment struggles, we remain committed to losing even more desperately needed servicemen," said Secretary Austin. "Any mandate we can put in place to further weaken military readiness, we are there. Let's be real though, the Navy actually needs this Monkeypox shot."
At publishing time, Navy servicemen had replied to the mandate saying it's "not funny" and that no one will obey any more orders from Secretary Austin "until he takes off that stupid face shield".
Too true.
Anchors aweigh, baby!
A-holes….lol
“In the Navy”
Village People
******
Takes on a whole new meaning.
I love the Babylon Bee.
Had me going for the first couple of paragraphs, then I finally looked at the source. 😂😂😂
I read halfway through the article before I realized it was from the Babylon Bee. Satire is at its best when it hits close to home.
Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash.
I read headline and thought Wtf, then Submarines, then The Bee
They got me for a few seconds.
p.s.
To all you Portopotomi and Bremeloes out there, you are not at risk so keep doin what you doin
Could be for the FBI’s panty drawer raiders.
They’ll gladly bend over and take it
>> The whole ship goes down.
entendre entendre!!
That’s gonna bring some joshing from the other branches. Well, more than usual.
Former swabbies will not be amused.
When I got to that sentence, I realized it was The Bee!
Women were being brought on board war ships beginning in 65, maybe 64 don't rightly recall but that was enough for me.
Bee had me until I got to the Harvey Milk part. I’m surprised the Village People weren’t written in singing “In the Navy.”
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