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First 12 Things Trump Will Do When He Inevitably Returns To Power
Babylon Bee ^ | 07/07/2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/07/2022 10:44:51 AM PDT by DFG

The prophets have long whispered of the return of ULTRA-MAGA King Trump. In faith, we know that his return is inevitable and that he will soon reclaim the presidency and set right what has gone awry.

Here are the first 12 things Trump will do when he returns to power:

Spray Febreze on the Oval Office curtains to get the old man smell out: Step one to draining the swamp is giving it a flowery scent.

Make Pelosi wear a sweater on the beach: I mean, really.

Welcome back Mike Pence, just to tell him he's fired: It'll be the highest ratings for a single episode of The Apprentice. Maybe ever.

Invade Afghanistan so he can show how much better he would be at withdrawing from Afghanistan: He's been dreaming about this one every night when he goes to sleep.

Finish building that wall, but make Hunter Biden pay for it: Hunter will borrow from Joe, who will borrow from China. 4D chess!

Make everything at the dollar store $1 again: And abolish the fed.

Sneak out of the Oval Office for a quick 9 holes: Trump needs to keep his golf skills sharp so he can challenge Putin to a match for the fate of Russia.

Bring back the McRib: And make it permanent this time! Find Osama Bin Laden's body and kill him again: USA! USA! USA!

Declare total infinity immunity with no take-backs: Should put an end to congressional witch hunts.

Put Dr. Fauci in the stocks in the National Mall so everyone can throw cabbage at him: Somewhere up there Samuel Adams is drunkenly smiling.

Buy Greenland and make Mexico pay for it: And then drill for oil like there's no tomorrow.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2024election; babylonbee; election2024; fauci; pelosi; pence; presidenttrump; thebabylonbee; thirdterm; trump
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To: DFG

Not sure what has happened to BB but this is idiotic and not satire. I could have done better and I do not have any sense of humor at all.


21 posted on 07/07/2022 1:51:33 PM PDT by dirtymac ( Now Is The Time For All Good Men To ComeTo The Aid Of Their Country! NOWhx) )
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To: lee martell

that was alot to see.


22 posted on 07/07/2022 1:53:44 PM PDT by ronniesgal (Hot fun in the summertime! thanks rjo.)
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To: DFG

Hallelujah!


23 posted on 07/07/2022 7:20:28 PM PDT by NetAddicted (Just looking)
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To: Fireone; DFG; All

So long as Putin doesn’t demand they play chess.


24 posted on 07/07/2022 9:06:11 PM PDT by gleeaikin (Question authority)
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To: ryderann

Granted, the WH needs a good fumigation, but a good spiritual fumigation is badly needed as well; with all of the perversions that the democrats sponsored there’s no telling how many demons have come in.

Have a delegation of righteous Spirit-filled priests and pastors cleanse the place one room at a time.


25 posted on 07/08/2022 2:27:31 PM PDT by Ban Draoi Marbh Draoi ( Gen. 12:3: a warning to all antisemites)
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