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DHS Warns of Violent Pro-Abortion Protests [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 26 June 2022 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/27/2022 10:56:33 AM PDT by John Semmens

The Department of Homeland Security warned churches and pro-life pregnancy centers to brace for violence in the wake of the US Supreme Court's invalidation of its infamous 1973 Roe v. Wade ruling that legalized abortion everywhere in America. "This will be nothing like the prayer sessions outside of Planned Parenthood centers," Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas said. "They were easy to disperse. The prayer carried no weapons, issued no threats, and in most cases meekly obeyed orders to leave."

Jane's Revenge, a violent pro-abortion domestic terrorist group has vowed "a night of rage." They have already firebombed more than a dozen pro-life pregnancy centers. Mayorkas explained that "the Jane's Revenge group is too dangerous for us to try to provide police protection to these centers. The risk of injury to the officers is too great. In our assessment, police officers are of more value to society than pro-life fanatics. We recommend that churches and pro-life centers be shutdown until the danger has passed. This won't prevent their facilities from being burned down, but it will save lives."

A spokesperson for Jane's Revenge emphasized that "the danger will not pass until every pro-life pregnancy center is permanently closed. The barbaric alternative to a safe and clean abortion these centers offer can no longer be tolerated in a civilized society."

New York Governor Kathy Hochul (D) called "Jane's Revenge's turn to violence understandable. This is the United States of America, where freedom and liberty are supposed to mean something. If a woman can't legally throw her unwanted baby's carcass into the trash we are riding roughshod over freedom and liberty. The neanderthals who say, women are not entitled to do this deserve rough treatment from those they want to disenfranchise."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,473453.0.html


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: barbarians; democrats; leftists; satire

1 posted on 06/27/2022 10:56:33 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens; RitaOK; Melian

The SCOTUS leaker was done to give a relative newcomer in the “protected violent protesters” game, Jane’s Revenge, street credibility.

Change my mind.


2 posted on 06/27/2022 10:59:28 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Islam is NOT a religion of any sort. It is a violent and tyrannical system of ruling others.)
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To: John Semmens

The fallout thus far has been rather underwhelming to be honest, despite efforts in the left to stir up protests.


3 posted on 06/27/2022 11:04:16 AM PDT by Analogisbetter
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To: Analogisbetter
Its much worse than that for them. You cant find a protest with more than 50 people unless you look to LA or OR but they will protest about anything when given the chance. Other than that its been DEAD out there.
4 posted on 06/27/2022 11:07:15 AM PDT by cdnerds (Vapingunderground)
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To: John Semmens

The Department of Homeland Insecurity


5 posted on 06/27/2022 11:09:10 AM PDT by butlerweave
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To: cdnerds

That was my observation as well. Also this morning I saw a clip of Mayor Lightfoot on a stage with red stage lighting and fog machines, yelling some nonsense about “F Clarence Thomas” to what looked like a small crowd. It looked like a metal concert or something. Very bizarre.


6 posted on 06/27/2022 11:39:33 AM PDT by Analogisbetter
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