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Biden Demands More Gas [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 19 June 2022 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/18/2022 11:18:54 AM PDT by John Semmens

Though he has promised to end fossil fuels, President Biden now threatens to use emergency war powers to commandeer the assets of oil producers located in the US. Brushing aside the steps he's already taken to reduce the supply of energy in this country by cancelling the Keystone Pipeline and numerous new drilling leases, Biden asserted that "I'm giving oil producers one last chance to do the right thing."

ExxonMobil CEO Darren Woods pointed out that "our company has invested $118 billion on new oil and gas supplies over the past five years. We have made the necessary expenditures and would be happy to meet consumer demand. Future profits are needed to recoup these expenditures and reward the stockholders who provided the capital to make it happen. This is how the free enterprise system works."

Jeff Ramsey, Chairman of the Board for the American Fuel & Petrochemical Manufacturers (AFPM), joined with Mike Sommers, President and CEO of the American Petroleum Institute (API), to second Woods, saying "our industry is dedicated to providing affordable, reliable, and sustainable fuels and other petroleum products for Americans and our global allies, as we have done for decades, including throughout the COVID pandemic. Crude oil has no utilitarian value until it runs through a refinery and gets processed into fuels. It's not an overstatement to say that energy security requires a strong refining sector."

Biden said "the notion that there can be a free enterprise solution is insane. Meeting needs is more important than earning profits. Refusing to unselfishly meet the needs of the people is why I decided to end fossil fuels. My decision is irrevocable. The oil industry in this country is doomed. The only decent thing left for them to do is die with honor like the mortally wounded combat soldier who saves his buddies by throwing his body on top of a live grenade. If they won't make this sacrifice voluntarily I'll have no choice but to force them to do it."

Biden Climate Czar John Kerry augmented the President's position by arguing that "since only electric vehicles will be allowed after 2035, it would be senseless for us to allow anymore investment in these petroleum industries. The President's decision to use his emergency authority to put these companies out of business is a sound plan that will save the nation's scarce resources from being frivolously wasted. By switching to environmentally friendly wind and solar power our planet will be saved from climate catastrophe. As we learned from the pandemic, people can do quite well sheltering at home. In the green America we envision they can do the same on cloudy and windless days. Their needs can be met by receiving government assistance checks."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,472844.0.html


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics; Science; Travel; Weather
KEYWORDS: democrats; kerry; profits; sacrifice; satire; socialism; wind

1 posted on 06/18/2022 11:18:54 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

https://cdn.mises.org/the_vampire_economy_20201022.pdf

Read the Vampire Economy from Germany in the late thirties. you will relate


2 posted on 06/18/2022 11:33:52 AM PDT by PeterPrinciple (Thinking Caps are no longer being issued but there must be a warehouse full of them somewhere.)
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To: John Semmens

...and swalwell started stocking up on chile to comply.


3 posted on 06/18/2022 11:36:27 AM PDT by DPMD ( )
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To: John Semmens

I just saw a short news item— Biden took a fall on his bicycle.

No training wheels?


4 posted on 06/18/2022 11:42:17 AM PDT by Mark (Celebrities... is there anything they do not know? Homer Simpson)
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To: Mark

He wasn’t even riding when it happened:

https://www.tmz.com/2022/06/18/joe-biden-falls-off-bike-delaware/


5 posted on 06/18/2022 12:50:53 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: John Semmens

Biden has only to reverse the disasterous mandates to stop drilling in the United States areas to provide more oil to make more gas. Can this man be that stupid that he stills fossil fuels when there is yet to be an alternative source of energy available.


6 posted on 06/18/2022 3:34:21 PM PDT by maxwellsmart_agent
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