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"Denial of Communion Should Be Illegal" [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 May 2022 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/29/2022 11:28:43 AM PDT by John Semmens

Expert on religion and the Constitution Whoopi Goldberg declared that "forbidding abortion-supporting Catholics from receiving communion should be illegal." Her remarks were inspired by Archbishop Salvatore Cordelione's admonition that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi "is not fit to participate in the sacrament of communion. Abortion takes an innocent human life. Anyone who promotes the practice is committing a deadly sin."

Pelosi herself defied her Archbishop by sneakily receiving communion at a Washington, DC Catholic church, saying "as long as the Church allows the execution of murderers to receive communion it has no moral authority to bar me from receiving it." She rebutted arguments that the death penalty for those who kill others is a just punishment by contending that "in God's eyes, all are innocent and entitled to forgiveness for their sins. That includes me."

Cordelione acknowledged that the Church opposes the death penalty, but insisted that "in no way does this entitle a self-proclaimed Catholic to actively abet the murder of unborn children. The taking of a life is evil. It cannot be used to justify propagating public policies that have killed millions under the false assertion that it is protecting women's health."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,470917.0.html


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Religion
KEYWORDS: archbishop; goldberg; pelosi; satire

1 posted on 05/29/2022 11:28:43 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

That’s right - we need laws governing the practice of religion in this country to make sure churches and synagogues are following diversity guidelines. </sarc>


2 posted on 05/29/2022 11:37:47 AM PDT by Apparatchik (If you find yourself in a confusing situation, simply laugh knowingly and walk away - Jim Ignatowski)
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To: John Semmens

I mean... have they met the Catholic Church? Denying Communion is kinda small potatoes to what they’ve done in the past.


3 posted on 05/29/2022 11:55:10 AM PDT by SoftballMominVA (No longer in VA. Living the OBX life now!)
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To: Apparatchik

Maybe Nancypelosi can get around this rather severe injunction by taking sweet tea and a Ritz cracker while the Communion service is being carried out.

Just to remind her how much on the outs she is with God.


4 posted on 05/29/2022 11:55:30 AM PDT by alloysteel (There are folks running the government who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches - Will Rogers)
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To: John Semmens

Pope Pelosi makes her own rules about the Bible.


5 posted on 05/29/2022 12:09:31 PM PDT by chopperk
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To: chopperk

If things were right the wafer would burn in her throat severely.


6 posted on 05/29/2022 1:23:57 PM PDT by oldasrocks
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To: John Semmens

It is ovcious now that Whoopi Goldberg is a baby-killing Ghoul. She does not want anything to interfere with her ability to do that.


7 posted on 05/29/2022 2:17:12 PM PDT by maxwellsmart_agent
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To: alloysteel

I have something to put on that cracker…


8 posted on 05/29/2022 3:47:49 PM PDT by Apparatchik (If you find yourself in a confusing situation, simply laugh knowingly and walk away - Jim Ignatowski)
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To: John Semmens

I first heard of the cockroach that is Whoopi Goldberg in the early 80s. Her Broadway act was described as “consciousness raising humor.” It made me imagine a Soviet Gulag. The commandant says”After a full day of digging in the Peoples Coal Mine, and a wonderful meal of black bread and borscht, you will now be privileged to enjoy 3 hours of “consciousness-raising humor” by our very own Comrade Vhoopi.”


9 posted on 05/29/2022 5:12:09 PM PDT by georgecorgi
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