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Biden Announces He Will Move To Unfollow Putin On Twitter
Babylon Bee ^ | 02/24/2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/24/2022 8:23:48 AM PST by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C.—After Putin led Russia in an unprovoked attack on Ukraine, Biden addressed the world and outlined the steps he'd take to stop Russia from rampaging through Eastern Europe.

"Listen, folks, I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this, today I directed my social media manager to unfollow Putin on Twitter," said Biden. "That Putin guy is a major internet influencer and we need to hit him where it hurts. We have no other choice. God have mercy on us."

Biden then directed his staff to "unfollow" President Putin on Twitter, warning that if Putin doesn't stop what he's doing, he will also "unfriend" him on Facebook.

"You want to have no friends, Vlad? 'Cause that's where you're headed, buddy! That's no fun! Trust me, I know! You'd better watch your step, bud!" Biden said angrily before tripping on the carpet of his house and faceplanting into his bronze bust of Neville Chamberlain.

Biden has promised to engage in further talks with world leaders once aides finish changing his Depends.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; biden; putin; twitter; ukraine

1 posted on 02/24/2022 8:23:48 AM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Once again the Bee is ahead of the curve.


2 posted on 02/24/2022 8:24:30 AM PST by Skwor
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To: DFG

I hear Biden already hit the ‘unfriend’ button on Putin on Facebook.


3 posted on 02/24/2022 8:27:19 AM PST by Beowulf9
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To: DFG
The take-away line from the article...

"You want to have no friends, Vlad? 'Cause that's where you're headed, buddy! That's no fun! Trust me, I know! You'd better watch your step, bud!" Biden said angrily before tripping on the carpet of his house and faceplanting into his bronze bust of Neville Chamberlain.

4 posted on 02/24/2022 8:31:53 AM PST by Egon (I collect spores, molds, and fungus.)
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To: DFG

Putin better watch out or he will find hi self disinvited to things too!


5 posted on 02/24/2022 8:32:44 AM PST by Bob434
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To: DFG

I’m guessing biden doesn’t know how to answer his email..although he is absolutely a twit.


6 posted on 02/24/2022 8:35:01 AM PST by Leep (Freedom: "What's the big deal" -joe biden)
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To: DFG

I wonder what he and his his handlers are actually doing now that everyone is looking the other way.


7 posted on 02/24/2022 8:41:40 AM PST by READINABLUESTATE ( ‘When tyranny becomes law, resistance becomes duty.’)
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To: DFG

Brandon has a mean vindictive streak. Like a pissed off senile old man.


8 posted on 02/24/2022 8:49:43 AM PST by FlyingEagle
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To: DFG

LMAO!!!!

Frakin’ hilarious.


9 posted on 02/24/2022 9:31:23 AM PST by cranked
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To: cranked

....”Listen, folks, ...”

I thought the line was supposed to be “Listen, guys....” as spoken by our be-masked and totally clueless VEEP recently...


10 posted on 02/24/2022 9:39:27 AM PST by TokarevM57
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To: DFG

Will he unfriend him on Facebook, too? Or is that carrying things too far?


11 posted on 02/24/2022 9:49:47 AM PST by MrChips ("To wisdom belongs the apprehension of eternal things." - St. Augustine )
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To: MrChips

That’s the last step toward nuclear war. Stalin unfriended Hitler on Facebook and we see how that one turned out.


12 posted on 02/24/2022 9:56:53 AM PST by Billthedrill
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To: DFG

OMG. Hysterical!


13 posted on 02/24/2022 9:58:58 AM PST by WashingtonSource
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To: DFG
Biden said angrily before tripping on the carpet of his house and faceplanting into his bronze bust of Neville Chamberlain.

That reminds me of all the "pratfalls" Chevy Chase would do on the old SNL show in the 1970s while imitating then President Ford.

In actuality, Ford only had a couple of minor stumbles and compared to the current occupier, Gerald Ford was Fred Astaire.

I bet the current SNL hasn't done one skit like that on Biden even though they have way more material to work with.

14 posted on 02/24/2022 10:01:27 AM PST by SamAdams76 (I am 35 days away from outliving Robert Reed (of Brady Bunch Fame))
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To: DFG; Skwor; Beowulf9; Egon; Bob434; cranked; WashingtonSource; SamAdams76
Clearly Biden is channeling Sun Tzu.

Sun Tzu said the greatest achievements in war were obtaining victories without bloodshed. Confrontations would be directed towards frustrating plans, breaking alliances, and promoting divisions within the organizations of the enemy, which in turn would bolster your own alliances.

In the twenty first century, nothing could be more important than Biden’s determination to mobilize worldwide the resources of social media for that objective.

15 posted on 02/24/2022 10:13:04 AM PST by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: DFG

That will show him!


16 posted on 02/24/2022 10:35:53 AM PST by TBP (Decent people cannot fathom the amoral cruelty of the Biden regime.)
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