Noble Sacrifice [semi-satire]

The policies of the Biden Administration have resulted in a major boost in the cost-of-living. The average American household must now pay $3500 more to achieve the same consumption they had last year.

Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellen maintains that "this series of events is all according to plan. When voters chose Biden over Trump in the 2020 election they opted for lowering their standard of living in order to save the planet. They explicitly rejected Trump's hedonistic prosperity. They chose unselfishness over greed. It was a noble sacrifice."

Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV), however, has his doubts that this was a conscious choice. "The inflation we are seeing now is too dangerous. That's why I couldn't back the President's multi-trillion dollar Build a Better America bill."

Biden called Manchin's position "a betrayal of the Party. We are trying to complete the transformation begun by former President Obama. If Manchin were a true Democrat he would be falling in line behind my agenda. Instead, he is helping the counterrevolutionaries stall further progress. Such disloyalty deserves punishment. I am looking forward to the day my advisors will let me order his arrest."

In related news, Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D-Conn) made a pitch to the Communist Party affiliate in Connecticut to get behind Biden's Build a Better America legislation. A key selling point he made was to point out that "we Democrats want the same kind of economic justice you do. Republicans who oppose this program are the enemies of communism."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/317367-2021-12-17-semi-news-semi-satire-december-19-2021-edition.htm

Lotsa good 'quotes' in this week's column, among them... Schiff defended what he called his "creatively enhanced version a common practice in our field. Look, the Steele Dossier was entirely bogus, but it led to the appointment of Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller and four years of investigation of President Trump--a political triumph that justified the false accusations. On top of this, many times I have seen reports from the Babylon Bee and Semi-News in which quotes are totally made up or adulterated from the actual words used by people like myself. If it's okay for them to do it why isn't it okay for me to do it."

From the DC cocktail circuit to the Semmens column.

In related news, Pelosi professed herself "mystified" by the crime surge in her beloved San Francisco. "We've been very kind to people—letting the accused out of jail without bail, legalizing thefts of less than $950 dollars, granting early release from prison sentences," she exclaimed. "I can't understand why things are getting worse there. It's the red states where people are brazenly disobeying the President's order to get vaccinated. I would have expected there to be more crime in those areas. Luckily for me, I have a $23 million mansion in Florida I can move to. For some reason, crime there is so much lower."

Pelosi on a hot mic?

Thanks John, for another fine column highlighting close to what some probably think at a critical time in our history.

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