HELP!! Insane Daughter-in-Law!! SWMBO! The Queen Of Death! (Vanity)

11/08/2021 | AZJoe

[Albion Wilde]

I'm late chiming in, but as the grandchild of two alcoholic grandfathers, I found that alcoholic behaviors continue rolling downhill, even to the teetotalling next several generation(s), until someone stops the dysfunctional behaviors within themselves.

A teetotaler myself, I found help from ACOA meetings (Adult Children of Alcoholics). These groups are related to the Alcoholics Anonymous model, and they are a cost-free source of help, if your son can find a group near him. It's something he could do for himself and his children, assuming he can get out of the house for a couple of hours one evening a week. Maybe you can help by minding the kids.

You yourself might be also be helped by Al-Anon, the group for the spouse of the alcoholic, even though you are no longer with her. The behaviors in both the abuser and the family members that keep them locked in dysfunction linger on and on, until someone finds the ways to stop triggering and being triggered.

If you take it seriously and give it thought, it is life-changing.

It's best that you and your son do not attend the same group.

[Albion Wilde]

I strongly suspect that mom and son are empaths. i further suspect that both mom and son have had many years of dealing with a family member who was/is a BPD/NPD and in this they've been condidioned to this situation and being empaths...always the rescuer.

You mean dad, right? The original post is from the grandfather, not the grandmother. The grandfather was married to an alcoholic, who is the mother of the son who is in the middle of this tangle.

[SheepWhisperer]

Yeah I missed the pronoun in all my excitement to post.

Sorry

[Karliner]

Maybe start with a pastor. I don’t know. Way too much history and too many problems for one answer.

[Mr. K]

I hope I made it clear that it was a losing battle, but at least the effort put her under scrutiny.

If I had more video evidence I would have won.

But Family Court is not fair and just... It’s two lawyers fighting with each other until all the money is gone.

[Quilla]

Please keep us posted as it is quite heartening to learn when prayers have been answered.

In the meantime, take care of yourself. Exercise, eat right, laugh as often as you can, and enjoy life. You mentioned up thread you were overweight, diabetic, and only 67. :) Please consider looking into intermittent fasting. It’s a great way to get in shape and may help with your diabetes.(I lost 20 pounds in 30 days by fasting for 24 hours at a clip; then the next 24 hours ate anything except grain, dairy, and sugar.) I still fast 18 hours per day now as a way of life and feel great. I have a stand up paddle board that keeps me in shape, my balance is incredible, and nature is heaven on earth.

Good luck FRiend.

[Az Joe]

Thanks FRiend

[Big Red Badger]

I knew it was in The Book
just to lazy to search.
.
I had it close during her/my Divorce.
.
Thanks

[PGR88]

Thank you. I did not remember that quote. Very nice.