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'Rumors That The Taliban Have Taken Over Are Unfounded,' Says Jen Psaki Wearing Hijab
Babylon Bee ^
| 08/16/2021
| Babylon Bee
Posted on 08/16/2021 11:52:04 AM PDT by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Many are expressing concerns over how far the Taliban has managed to advance after Press Secretary Jen Psaki gave her latest press conference while wearing an Islamic Hijab.
"No, there is nothing to worry about, Alhamdulillah, Allah be praised," said Psaki. "The Taliban poses no danger to the U.S. and they definitely have not advanced as far as Washington, D.C. Everything is fine here."
When asked about her new modest religious veil, she responded, "What do you mean? I always wear these! It's sunny out and it keeps the sun off my head. Nothing to worry about!" She then circled back to face Mecca and bowed her head to the ground.
The White House also confirmed that the crowd of military-aged males with AK47s playing soccer on the White House lawn was just a fun little bit of performance art and nothing to be concerned over.
In other news, D.C. has confirmed that call to prayer will be at 3pm this afternoon and that everyone needs to be on time.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: alhamdulillah; babylonbee; hijab; psaki; taliban
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To: TigersEye
Do it now before it’s too late.
21
posted on
08/16/2021 12:32:25 PM PDT
by
353FMG
To: DFG
And, Jolly Joe himself was seen being fitted for one of these snazzy turbans in the back room of the "formerly White House", as he ploddingly prepped for his "news conference".
To: All
23
posted on
08/16/2021 12:37:28 PM PDT
by
TigersEye
(Who shot Ashli Babbitt?)
To: All
Rumors that the Taliban have taken over are possibly true says the Taliban Bee.
24
posted on
08/16/2021 12:44:30 PM PDT
by
Peter ODonnell
(It's time we got serious about COVID-74 and COVID-92 and the Bulgarian variant and ...)
To: TigersEye
It's taking some time.
They've got to wake him up from second nap, change his adult diaper, get him a Puddin Pop and listen to him whine about calling a lid earlier in the day.
"But I called a lid!!"
25
posted on
08/16/2021 12:49:23 PM PDT
by
kiryandil
(China Joe and Paycheck Hunter - the Chink in America's defenses)
To: kiryandil
He’s five minutes late now ... but for 0bambam that was nothing.
26
posted on
08/16/2021 12:51:13 PM PDT
by
TigersEye
(Who shot Ashli Babbitt?)
To: DFG
Bee--close to reality, meanwhile...
CNN far into insanity and corporate cuckholding.
To: DFG
CNN's Clarissa Ward, before and after.
28
posted on
08/16/2021 12:57:35 PM PDT
by
TChad
(The MSM, having nuked its own credibility, is now bombing the rubble.)
To: TigersEye
Waiting for the closing bell. Money men have spoken.
To: DFG
Diversity on display: Bagdad Jen.
30
posted on
08/16/2021 1:21:56 PM PDT
by
RetiredTexasVet
(Biden not only suffers fools and criminals, he appoints them to positions of responsibility. )
To: rollo tomasi
31
posted on
08/16/2021 1:26:31 PM PDT
by
TigersEye
(Who shot Ashli Babbitt?)
To: DFG
32
posted on
08/16/2021 1:32:28 PM PDT
by
728b
(Never cry over something that can not cry over you.)
To: TigersEye
Read the words like he was 65, hardly any damage done and the stupid masses won't give a hoot. It's the other side of the world after all.
To: rollo tomasi
True but the market often reacts in ways that seem counterintuitive to current events.
Regarding that aspect, I never know what to expect.
34
posted on
08/16/2021 2:11:01 PM PDT
by
TigersEye
(Who shot Ashli Babbitt?)
35
posted on
08/16/2021 2:11:41 PM PDT
by
mykroar
(God speed, President Trump)
To: rollo tomasi
She is gonna make a great 5th wife for a Taliban war lord.
36
posted on
08/16/2021 2:34:05 PM PDT
by
rdcbn1
To: TigersEye
Stock market is just a quasi-government retirement scheme/occasional resource grab propped up by the Federal Reserve/US Treasury/Private Investment and Securities Banks on the backs of public debt, i.e. future generations that devalues the currency because....why not, screw fundamentals, savings, and the future. Distort those P/E ratios to the point of absurdity and common sense.
To: rdcbn1
I hope she can run the kitchen and off artificial birth control, if not...
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