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Feminists Declare Victory After Obliterating Women's Sports, Relabeling Mothers 'Birthing Persons', Getting Women Drafted
Babylon Bee ^ | 07/24/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/24/2021 12:54:08 PM PDT by DFG

WORLD—After a century of hard-fought battles for equal rights, the feminist movement has finally achieved its ultimate goal of obliterating women's sports, relabeling mothers "birthing persons," and getting women drafted into the military.

"We are so proud of what we have achieved," said Mandy Chandrilla, a biological man who now identifies as a female feminist. "Women were so oppressed, and we realized there was really no way around it, so we just rendered the term 'woman' meaningless and effectively eliminated women as a meaningful category of human altogether. Hooray for feminism!"

Chandrilla then shotgunned a beer and crushed the can on her head in celebration.

According to experts, women can now enjoy soul-crushing corporate jobs, lose in sports to transgender heroes, get shot in battle, grow a mustache, and act as gender-neutral spawning bags for biologically male partners.

Women all over the world are thanking feminism for its tremendous achievement in eliminating inequality by turning them into men. "This is just what we wanted," said all the women everywhere. "Great job everyone!"


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: draft; feminists; sports; transgender

1 posted on 07/24/2021 12:54:08 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

women should be drafted

they dont have to be placed into frontline/combat roles, but they can be useful doing needed logistics and support jobs


2 posted on 07/24/2021 1:00:03 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not Averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: Secret Agent Man
Your delineation of female vs. male roles in the military might see its first practical application in the upcoming civil war. The Blues will do the opposite of what you suggest.
3 posted on 07/24/2021 1:05:45 PM PDT by Bernard (The very best scientific articles always contain this phrase: “My personal intuition has been…”)
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To: Secret Agent Man

“Who needs hand combat when it will just be a nuke fight anyway”— Starship Troopers


4 posted on 07/24/2021 1:14:07 PM PDT by Bayard
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To: DFG

The Babylon Bee is insufficiently foresighted in this headline! Declaring ‘Victory’ indicates the battle is done and the unfeminine LEFTists are never going to leave this battleground! Next step is already in process, ALL pronouns MUST BE female and all place-names must be feminized!

“Brave Newer World” by Alice Huxley!


5 posted on 07/24/2021 1:20:49 PM PDT by SES1066 (Ask not what the LEFT can do for you, rather ask what the LEFT is doing to YOU!)
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To: DFG

From the article:

“According to experts, women can now enjoy soul-crushing corporate jobs,”

I know this is the Bee, but weren’t we already doing soul-crushing corporate jobs before?

No one who loves or respects women wants to see female athletes’ dreams crushed by physically stronger male competitors.

No one with an ounce of common sense thinks men can give birth.

And in the name of gender equality I think we should abolish the draft for both sexes. If the FedGov wants another unconstitutionally declared war (pardon me, “police action”) let them convince We the People that it’s worth fighting. America has spent far too much blood and treasure abroad while neglecting her own people.


6 posted on 07/24/2021 2:02:01 PM PDT by FormerFRLurker
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To: Bernard

well my delineation of roles is a lot more like what we’ve done throughout history, wwii coming to mind first

with the wacs and such

with key men managing and being in charge of factories, having several master builder men under them, teaching scores of women to do all the various lower building tasks and overseeing the work done


7 posted on 07/24/2021 2:47:30 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not Averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: DFG

Draft all the feminists first, or at least those without weight problems, ( it would cost more to have them in fat companies), and put them in the infantry, in the next combat assignment against the Arabs.


8 posted on 07/24/2021 3:03:21 PM PDT by Terry L Smith
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