Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Unemployment Up 800% Among Ethnic Mascots
Babylon Bee ^ | 07/23/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/23/2021 2:09:36 PM PDT by DFG

U.S.—The new unemployment numbers are out, and they're pretty discouraging: among ethnic mascots of baseball teams and corporate brands, unemployment has skyrocketed 800% in the past year.

"These are troubling signs for the BIPOC mascot community," said leading economist Dr. Matais Zendejas. "We had made so much progress, with mascots of all ethnicities being welcomed by the American public. But now it seems they are being fired at record rates, with the mascots and brand icons being replaced by genderless, white, inoffensive mascots, or else by nothing at all."

"It's really not a good time to be a mascot of color. The unemployment crisis is affecting mascots of color disproportionately. It's racism, plain and simple."

According to one source, the Land O'Lakes Native American girl, once a shining star of the margarine world, has been reduced to asking for change outside a Whataburger in Texas. "Yeah, me and Apu here take turns working the corner," she said, munching on some fries a compassionate customer had given her. "It ain't much, but it pays the bills. Well, actually, it doesn't. But I don't have many bills, because I'm homeless now."

Having fallen on hard times, Chief Wahoo, formerly of the Cleveland Indians, managed to find work singing old Sinatra tunes for tips at a local casino.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: cleveland; mascot; mlb; wahoo
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-27 next last

1 posted on 07/23/2021 2:09:36 PM PDT by DFG
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: DFG

“According to one source, the Land O’Lakes Native American girl, once a shining star of the margarine world, has been reduced to asking for change outside a Whataburger in Texas.”

These guys should are great writers and should be doing sketch comedy with this stuff.

This is way better than anything SNL has done in decades.


2 posted on 07/23/2021 2:27:23 PM PDT by Eddie01
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Eddie01

Maybe One America News can hire them for an hour a week on Saturday nights?

I’d pay!


3 posted on 07/23/2021 2:29:41 PM PDT by Roman_War_Criminal (Jesus + Something = Nothing ; Jesus + Nothing = Everything )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Where’s Liz Feather Head Warren when it counts?


4 posted on 07/23/2021 2:31:38 PM PDT by Track9 (Dealing with democrats is like living without toilet paper. )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Track9

Appropriating someone else’s culture?

I here she identifies as Pacific Islander now.

Claims her father was US military and her mom was from Yap.


5 posted on 07/23/2021 2:37:38 PM PDT by Eddie01
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Eddie01

From Yap sounds about right.


6 posted on 07/23/2021 3:00:39 PM PDT by Track9 (Dealing with democrats is like living without toilet paper. )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Bring back the Land O’ Lakes Indian maiden. Miss making boobs out of her knees...sniff...


7 posted on 07/23/2021 3:01:47 PM PDT by twister881
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Hilarious.


8 posted on 07/23/2021 3:01:51 PM PDT by Rocky
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Eddie01

Land O’Lakes makes Butter, not Margarine.


9 posted on 07/23/2021 3:04:32 PM PDT by Kickass Conservative (Trump - Make America Great Again / Biden - Make American Grovel Again...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Eddie01

Yeah but they got it wrong about the Land o’ Lakes girl. Strictly butter and real dairy products all the way.

Nothing fake or man-made, know what I’m saying?


10 posted on 07/23/2021 3:06:02 PM PDT by OKSooner (Salute the Marines.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Track9; Eddie01

Was Trump culturally appropriating by building casinos?


11 posted on 07/23/2021 3:42:53 PM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Tell It Right

No Indian Tribes were appropriating from Mo Green.


12 posted on 07/23/2021 3:44:01 PM PDT by Eddie01
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Eddie01

...or was it Meyer Lansky


13 posted on 07/23/2021 3:45:56 PM PDT by Eddie01
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Eddie01

https://m.youtube.com/c/TheBabylonBee/videos


14 posted on 07/23/2021 3:50:37 PM PDT by Disambiguator
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: DFG
According to one source, the Land O'Lakes Native American girl, once a shining star of the margarine world, has been reduced to asking for change outside a Whataburger in Texas.

How did she wind up in Texas?! I'd expect her to be outside of a Culver's Butterburger in Minnesota (Lakes) or Wisconsin (Dairy).
15 posted on 07/23/2021 3:55:45 PM PDT by Dr. Sivana (“At first you go bankrupt slowly, then all at once.” -- Hemingway)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Funny


16 posted on 07/23/2021 4:03:35 PM PDT by Bigg Red (Trump will be sworn in under a shower of confetti made from the tattered remains of the Rat Party.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Who is the guy on the left, wearing the green jacket and standing behind the box of Uncle Ben’s?


17 posted on 07/23/2021 4:08:14 PM PDT by OKSooner (Salute the Marines.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

I say we have mascots and team names for who we really are:

The Atlanta Cheaters
The Washington False Flaggers
The New York Tourist Killers
The Los Angeles Squatters
The San Francisco Street Shitters
The Seattle Kristallnachts
The Boston NIMBY’s
The Baltimore 0.30 GPAers
The Chicago Drive-Byers
The Arizona Last Hopes For the Republic

Or, we could embrace cancel culture and be who they want us to be:

The Washington Raaaacists
The Houston Global Warmers
The Chicago White Oppressors
The New York One Percenters
The Dallas White Supremacists
The San Francisco.... oh hell, SF is already everything they want it to be. Let’s just give them back Kaepernick (although I want his culturally-appropriated name back).


18 posted on 07/23/2021 4:17:57 PM PDT by nicollo (I said no!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: OKSooner

Apu from “The Simpsons”.


19 posted on 07/23/2021 4:47:35 PM PDT by DFG
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: DFG

OK, Thanks.

That shows how much I know.


20 posted on 07/23/2021 5:01:53 PM PDT by OKSooner (Salute the Marines.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-27 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson