Fauci: "I Am Science & Truth" [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 June 2021 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Irritated by the publication of emails exposing his deceit and greed, Dr. Anthony Fauci went on MSNBC's "MTP Daily" to denounce his critics. Aided and abetted by the show's host Chuck Todd, Fauci declared "those who attack me are attacking science and truth."

"These Republicans—Blackburn, Rubio, McCarthy—who say I lied to America because they find contradictory statements in my emails are ridiculous," Fauci declared. "How do they know I wasn't lying in my emails? There is no way of telling which were the lies. That I know this and they don't proves that I am the scientist and they are not."

"What about the doctors who claimed to have had good results using hydroxychloroquine?" Todd asked. "Trump said they were on to something and recently a number of studies in different parts of the world seem to indicate that this therapy saved lives. What do you say to that?"

"I'd call that the opposite of science," Fauci said. "If they wanted to prove the therapy works they should have divided up their patients into two groups, given one group the medicine and the other a placebo. If more in the therapy group recovered than in the control group only then could you prove whether the therapy saved lives."

"Some of these doctors say that the standard therapy offered by hospitals was the 'control group,'" Todd pointed out. "I'm no expert, but couldn't comparing the two approaches show which is better?"

"The only thing your question proves is that you're no expert," Fauci replied. "I am the nation's top infectious disease expert. As long as I hold this office my views supersede those of lower ranking experts, which includes everyone else practicing medicine in this country. In effect, in America I am science and truth. My advice should be obeyed until someone else is appointed as the top expert. That is how science works in the real world."

In related news, Acting Office of Management and Budget Director Shalanda Young rebuffed Republican demands that we stop sending money to the Wuhan Lab. "Considering that the lab seems to have successfully enhanced the ability of the coronavirus to infect and kill humans I don't see why we should stop investing in this research," she observed. "Many government investments turn out to be a total waste. This one didn't. A case for increasing our financial commitment would appear the more logical choice."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=439751.0

[Red Badger]

What next? The Way, The Truth, and The Life?................

[LIConFem]

I’m invincible!!!

You’re a loony…

[politicianslie]

Fauci is a murderer, in fact, a mass murderer. The scumbag withheld effective treatments from C-19 patients.

He did this for two main reasons:

1. BIG PHARMA would have lost $BILLIONS if they would have had to do reasonable safety studies on the vaccines and drugs they scammed the public to take. If HCQ or ivermectin had been widely used, then there would have been NO fast tracking.

2. Without pandemic (actually scamdemic) public fear, the DimWITS would NOT have been able to get their vote by mail scams through. DimWITS would have killed their own mothers to get rid of Trump, but they didn't have to do that. Instead, DimWIT governors stepped up and killed YOUR grandmother in nursing homes. The figures shown are old, actually the DimWITS killed many more people than this. In fact, governors hid how many people died as a result of their orders that put infected into nursing homes. To keep the public scared, many had to die but the exact numbers had to be hid to keep governors from being prosecuted for mass murder.

[AnthonySoprano]

‘
He’s a Pro-China Political Hack.

The guy that said you couldn’t let your kids go to school, but they should attend Riots, because - it’s important.

Pro China, Anti-American Dem Hack

‘

[BusterDog]

“Look at me. I am the Science now.”

[Clutch Martin]

“I am science and truth”

Was there Meatloaf song by that name?

[PTBAA]

Fauci: “No one gets to Covid immunity except through me.”