Debate on Liberty Riles Committee Hearing [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 18 April 2021 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

In a hearing before the House Select Subcommittee on the coronavirus, Chairwoman Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif), Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio), and Biden Administration health advisor Dr. Anthony Fauci shared conflicting views. The issue under discussion was what criteria will determine when life can return to normal.

After Fauci gave his opening remarks, Rep. Jordan asked "when will Americans get their First Amendment liberties back?" Fauci responded saying "my recommendations are not a personal recommendation. It's based on the CDC guidance."

"Well, what criteria will you or the CDC use to decide when it's okay to stop wearing masks, when businesses can fully open, and when citizens can stop spying on each other?" Jordan asked. Fauci said "when the number of vaccinations is high enough and the number of COVID cases is low enough." "How high is high enough and how low is low enough?" Jordan inquired. Fauci responded "we don't know yet."

Jordan countered that Fauci's answers were "vague and evasive. In essence you are saying that there is no established scientific criteria we can turn to to objectively know when personal freedom can be fully restored, that we must wait an indeterminate passage of time and hope that somehow the government will stumble upon the 'right conditions' for allowing the people to get their freedom back." Fauci asserted that "this isn't about freedom. It is about public health. One is a luxury. The other is a necessity."

Waters ended the debate by chastising Jordan for "disrespecting the Chair" and demanding that he "shut your mouth!"

In related news, infectious disease expert Dr. Steven Hatfill charged that Fauci's and the CDC's opposition to hydroxychloroquine therapy led to hundreds of thousands of unnecessary deaths. "When used in the early onset of COVID this therapy has had a good rate of success in preventing the disease from progressing to a serious case," Hatfill asserted. Fauci defended his stance on hydroxychlorine by pointing out that "our primary concern was expediting the development of a vaccine for COVID. A vaccine might never have been produced if a cheap alternative therapy had been widely permitted. Now we have vaccines that can be administered every year to millions of people. So, I'd say that the sacrifices made were worth it."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,434445.new.html#new

[John Semmens]

ping

[monkeyshine]

Headline is funny enough LOL. :-)

[unread]

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[Thommas]

This first part of your missive on the House Select Subcommittee seems to mirror the reported exchange between
Jordan and Fauci (and Waters.) Where's the satire? 😉

[Seaplaner]

As for living in white neighborhoods, Cullors declared that "living among those we intend to dispossess puts us closer to those we have marked for extermination. These low-crime areas are safer for us. We can concentrate on overthrowing the bourgeois system without having to worry too much about break-ins or street crime like we would if we lived in ghetto neighborhoods."

Who doesn't love creative restatement, amalgamated with irony (that's really news)?

Thanks John, as always, for another column shining the bright light of truth through the lens of satire.

[MadMax, the Grinning Reaper]

Semi-seriously, Fauci is a Medical Fascist, i.e. seeking power over people whether there is a legal,logistical and need for additional controls of behavior.

Maxine Waters is just a batshit crazy Marxist bitch with a bad-fitting Shakespeare Theatre wig made of rat hair.