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Fly the Scary Skies of United
Flopping Aces ^ | 04-12-21 | Larry Brandes

Posted on 04/12/2021 2:35:07 PM PDT by Starman417

In a bold move, United Airlines declared that “diversity is at the forefront” of its pilot program and pledged that 50% of their new 5,000 pilots will either be women or people of color. You have to admire the insanity of that plan because it is so incredibly stupid that you know a liberal was involved in its conception. I can just imagine the meeting at United that birthed the concept of making flight deck diversity Job #1. Scotty woke up one morning and wanted to make some changes.

Scotty: “Does anyone have an idea of how to destroy United? I mean really tarnish our image? Come on guys and gals, lets think out of the box.” Voice #1 from the back of the room: “Why don’t we drag a 69-year-old man off of a flight after we break his nose, knock out some of his teeth and give him a concussion?” Scotty, throws Voice #1 a small pack of peanuts. “I like the cut of your jib but that was done in 2017. Remember? We overbooked the flight and needed to accommodate 4 United crew members flying to another city? We had to drag that dude down the aisle and his belly was handing out!” Voice #2 from the back of the room: “Hey lets kill some of their beloved pets!” Scotty: “Done and doner. Remember when we forced that passenger to stuff her puppy Kokito in an overhead bin and the dog suffocated? That dog had a stupid name anyway!” Scotty: “Come on folks, put your backs into it. Give me something. Voice #3 from the back of the room: “Hey, can we force a female to hold her two-year-old on her lap for 4 hours because we sold the kids seat to a standby passenger?” Scotty: “You’re killing me here folks. We already did that. Come up with something new that will really get peoples attention.” Voice #4 from the back of the room: “We could require that 50% of the next 5,000 pilots we hire must be either women or people of color.” Scotty was now excited. He was really tired of putting safety first and now, finally, diversity could play a major role in determining what pilots were qualified to set foot on the flight deck. Woke Scotty finally realized that the pilots appearance was much more important than his/her flight skills. Hallelujah!

As a passenger I think that United made a great decision. Just think of the possibilities. Denzel Washington could be the next United pilot welcoming you on the plane. It doesn’t matter if he lacks the skill set to fly a plane. What matters is the fact that he played an amazing but flawed airline pilot in a movie and really looked cool in his uniform. Okay, in the movie Denzel had a drinking problem, but so what. You know it would be trey cool to meet the dude and maybe share a pitcher of beer with him before the flight. Mindy Kaling would also be a great pilot. She is female, funny and United gets to check off two boxes on their wish list: woman and person of color. What a coup.

I do have one more suggestion for Scotty who salivates about achieving diversity on the flight deck. Why stop with females and minorities? If you want the flight deck to accurately reflect the diverse group of passengers sitting in coach, why not train old people to fly your jumbo jets? I’m 73, and I really want to be a high paid United pilot because I can use the cash to buy a new grill and I’m tired of sitting in my living room watching reruns of Firefly and eating Cheetos.

(Excerpt) Read more at floppingaces.net...


TOPICS: Government; Politics
KEYWORDS: 1of; airlinepilots; airlines; aviation; blogpimp; freeloader; quota; race; united
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To: Starman417

21 posted on 04/12/2021 3:14:02 PM PDT by Seruzawa (The political Left is the Garden of Eden of Incompetence - Marx the Smarter (Groucho))
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To: Starman417

I can understand why a business person who “must fly” would take a chance with this kind of airline but will adults flying for vacations or recreation do so in the future knowing the risks?

Who will put their wife and children at risk knowing the planes are built and flown by people who have exploited affirmative action policies?


22 posted on 04/12/2021 3:14:02 PM PDT by jeffersondem
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To: Secret Agent Man

Diversity got us a Police Officer that can’t tell a taser from a gun.


23 posted on 04/12/2021 3:15:52 PM PDT by Babba Gi (Pro Golfer Privilege )
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To: jeffersondem

No way. I was a Delta flyer - not anymore - and my second choice was United. No more.

I’d rather drive. And for international, I’ll take a foreign airline.


24 posted on 04/12/2021 3:18:08 PM PDT by livius
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To: Vehmgericht

“This will result in higher failure rates for their diversity selectees.”

Nope. Pass by any means necessary including just stating they passed.


25 posted on 04/12/2021 3:19:09 PM PDT by CodeToad (Arm Up! They Have!)
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To: CodeToad

I used to dream of flying “united” mile and high and all that stuff. Diversity destroyed that dream long ago. This buried it for one airline.


26 posted on 04/12/2021 3:24:59 PM PDT by Mouton (The enemy of the people is the media.)
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To: Starman417

I could see a profitable tiered-pricing scheme.

You want to fly with the former C-135 Air Force pilot with 20 years of experience? That’s $999 for your seat, ma’am

Or do you want the 23 year-old transgender illegal immigrant diversity hire? We have a special - $69, one way.


27 posted on 04/12/2021 3:29:07 PM PDT by PGR88
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To: livius

I’ve always been a fan of JetBlue depending on destinations. If your home in destination airports are a Focus city for them you have some decent options at reasonable prices. They also one of the few airlines that won’t nickel and dime you when it comes to inflate it’s just entertainment and Wi-Fi.

However, that seems to have changed recently and from what I’ve read they will start charging for a carry-on bag, depending on how that works out it may force me to reconsider and go back to Southwest.


28 posted on 04/12/2021 3:30:59 PM PDT by matt04 ( )
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To: Secret Agent Man

I already have an enormous bias against flying ANY airline anywhere, but to United, i give a huge razzberry - PTHWAPP!

My confidence is in no way restored.

Diversity is much overrated anyway. Merit was always a much better barometer of probably future good performance.


29 posted on 04/12/2021 3:33:25 PM PDT by alloysteel (¡Viva la Revolución! It worked for Castro....)
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To: Starman417

UNITED customer service

877-624-2660

“I will not fly an airline that puts the color of a person’s skin, and/or what kind of sex organs they have, over flight safety. I will NEVER fly you again and I will be contacting my congressional representatives and senators to decertify you.”


30 posted on 04/12/2021 3:39:45 PM PDT by Az Joe (I CONDEMN WOKE SUPREMACY! )
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To: Starman417

The elephant in the room is that non US nationalities will now have advantage. So an Indian descent, etc would be hired before a US citizen


31 posted on 04/12/2021 3:41:06 PM PDT by RushingWater
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To: Starman417

32 posted on 04/12/2021 3:42:35 PM PDT by colorado tanker
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To: Starman417

Death by affirmative action. It’s not going to be an equipment failure when it comes to United. It’s going to be a human resources failure.


33 posted on 04/12/2021 3:49:32 PM PDT by chuckee
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To: SkyDancer; Chode

LOL !!!

Don’t most of the newer commercial planes basically need a Crew to start the engines and exercise the radio button occasionally and the rest of the system is pretty much automated these days ?

I have not flown since forever. I prefer to keep that image of the 60-70’s when there was Cabin Service, Tours of the Cockpit while on the ground and Metal Wings for the Kids not the plastic or nonexistent ones nowadays. Where My biggest worry was the Menu: Fish, Chicken or Beef. I was raised to reply to the Stewardess when asked what meal I would like to have and My response was to be “Whatever You have the most of, Mam” That was the standing Family order as NonRev Pax.


34 posted on 04/12/2021 4:13:01 PM PDT by mabarker1 ((Congress- the opposite of PROGRESS!!! A fraud, a hypocrite, a liar. I'm a member of Congress !!!!)
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To: mabarker1

“Don’t most of the newer commercial planes basically need a Crew to start the engines and exercise the radio button occasionally and the rest of the system is pretty much automated these days ?”

Nope.


35 posted on 04/12/2021 4:15:46 PM PDT by CodeToad (Arm Up! They Have!)
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To: Mouton

I never dreamed of being an airline pilot due to the lousy working schedule and being away from home all the time, but I am a pilot and have designed cockpit systems. I never found the drudgery of becoming an airline pilot anything worthwhile anyway. Lots of very low paying hours.


36 posted on 04/12/2021 4:17:09 PM PDT by CodeToad (Arm Up! They Have!)
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To: SamAdams76

He’ll always be Lew Alcindor to me...


37 posted on 04/12/2021 4:17:34 PM PDT by End Times Sentinel (In the conflict between the stone and the stream, the stream will always prevail.)
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To: Secret Agent Man

Drug users.
Alcoholics.
OCD sufferers.
People with Intermittent Explosive Disorder.
Moslems with suicide vests.
Midgets.
Ghetto rappers.

There are SO may ways they can make the cockpit “look like America.”


38 posted on 04/12/2021 4:25:33 PM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom (The Weak Never Started, The Cowards fail along the way, Only the Strong Survive)
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To: matt04

The problem with the budget airlines that they make you feel like a total criminal for having luggage. I remember flying Ryan Air in Europe once and they weighed us and also made us open our coats to show that we weren’t trying to wear two layers of outer clothing...LOL!

I’ve flown Jet Blue to Puerto Rico and it was fine, but it doesn’t go everywhere. I’m going to look into Southwest for domestic and perhaps Virgin or foreign carriers such as KLM for Europe (if they ever let us in there again).

In any case, as soon as I have used up my frequent flyer miles, it’s bye-bye Delta. This whole thing is so nuts.


39 posted on 04/12/2021 4:26:51 PM PDT by livius
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To: alloysteel

Diversity in the hands of socialists is why america 2021 is what it is, a sane person’s nightmare.


40 posted on 04/12/2021 4:44:19 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not Averse to Going Bronson.)
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