Posted on 03/13/2021 9:21:45 AM PST by John Semmens
In his first prime time address to the nation President Joe Biden boosted American morale by promising “we may be able to allow small July 4th gatherings, but only if everyone behaves between now and then. This means get your vaccination, wear your mask, keep your distance, wash your hands, and wait for our permission to mingle with other appropriately obedient and deserving family members, friends, and neighbors.”
The President cautioned that “we must not lapse into old habits of going where we want whenever we want and with whoever we choose. We have been advised by New York University medical ethics professor Arthur Caplan that we should deny normal freedoms to people who don’t want to be vaccinated. This will give them a greater incentive to conform with what all our experts say people should do. Once everyone is vaccinated, the CDC will be giving us more detailed instructions regarding the freedoms we will and won’t be permitted to exercise. Scofflaws must not be allowed to undermine the total unity we are trying to accomplish for America.”
Bill Kristol, founder of the now defunct political magazine The Weekly Standard, ecstatically praised Biden’s speech, calling it “the kind of lecture this country has desperately needed, but never got from Trump. The fatherly tone, the reminder to be good, and the promise of a treat for doing our chores was the classic in loco parentis role the people of America voted for when they chose to make Biden their next president last November.”
Jason Alexander, the actor who portrayed lying chiseller George Costanza on the sit-com Seinfeld, credited Bedin’s speech “for allowing me to sleep with a sense of ease and hope that I had not known during the dreadful four years of Donald Trump’s presidency.” Rob Reiner, the actor who played Archie Bunker’s “meathead” son-in-law on the sit-com All in the Family, said “the speech moved me to tears.”
In related news, Rep. James Clyburn (D-SC) called concerns about Biden’s mental competence “much ado about nothing. He’s no worse than half the members of Congress. If he’s unfit I’m unfit.”
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
https://ourrendezvouswithdestiny.wordpress.com/2021/03/13/biden-may-allow-small-july-4th-gatherings/
How ‘bout just shoving a giant “Chinese Covid 19 Special” firecracker up Xiden’s ass and televising it?
Old Joe has a nickname in China.
It translates out as,
Filthy old man who sniffs small girls.
ALLOW??!!
Eff him and the swine he rode in on.
Āng zāng de lǎorén wénzhe xiǎo nǚhái
Thank you.
Yes, I agree that the cabbages are large this year.
My Chinese is getting as bad as my French.
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