Posted on 12/20/2020 9:59:19 AM PST by John Semmens
In his continuing quest to crush the state's restaurant industry, New York's Democratic Gov. Andrew Cuomo issued an order banning outdoor diners from using restaurant restrooms. Spokesperson LaTrinia Johnson explained that "the move was a necessary codicil to the Governor's order banning all indoor dining. What would be the point of banning the indoor dining if patrons are allowed to enter the restaurant to use the restroom?"
Democratic Mayor Bill De Blasio, the normally doltish tyrant of New York City, called the ban "stupid. What are diners supposed to do?"
Ms. Johnson suggested that "the first advice I would give these restaurant diners is STAY HOME! Being at home alone is the best way to avoid contracting COVID. If you insist on going out to eat you could remember to bring a bucket, some toilet paper, and a bottle of hand sanitizer. If you forget, there's always the street or a nearby alley that might suffice. The folks in San Francisco have been taking care of business this way for many years. Surely, New Yorkers are as hardy and resilient as our west coast compatriots."
A barrage of criticism and mockery persuaded the Governor to modify his order and allow patrons to "briefly enter the restaurant to use the restroom, but only one person at a time. The restaurant can control this by keeping the restroom locked at all times. Outdoor diners could signal their waiter and request the key just like drivers often have to do when using gas station restrooms."
Whether closing down indoor restaurant dining is necessary was cast into doubt by the state's contact tracing data. It seems that restaurants account for only 1% of new COVID cases. Private household gatherings account for 74%.
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=423202.0
What’s the problem?
NYC allows you to pee and poop in the streets.
Has there EVER been a bigger dickhead???
A Masterpiece !
Thank you,.. but I almost got hurt !
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