Posted on 12/14/2020 8:13:30 AM PST by John Semmens
Media-anointed President-Elect Joe Biden acknowledged that "Trump beat the living hell out of us across the country" and thanked "the courageous few in the swing states who went the extra mile to overcome the massive lead he held before our special ops team found the votes needed to change the outcome."
"While I can't name all of these heroes, I want to thank the governors and judges whose late changes in the rules for mail-in ballots allowed us to bypass the ID requirements that would have deterred the acceptance of ballots cast by unidentified persons and in the names of deceased voters," Biden said. "I also want to thank those who stayed up through the night to ensure that these additional mail-in ballots could be privately counted without the interruptions of pesky poll watchers."
"Finally, while the algorithms programmed into the Dominion voting machines were inadequate to overcome the unexpectedly large surge of vote-in-person ballots for Trump, the margins they generated in my favor greatly reduced the number of votes that had to be created in the early hours of November 4th," the grateful winner exclaimed. "I guess we truly did unleash the most extensive and diverse vote fraud organization in American history. I hope that future generations will learn more about these heroes and give them the credit they deserve for preventing the deplorable voters from reelecting a monster."
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=422526.0
Joe oughta thank his Beijing sponsors for the win.
Are those the few Rats that cheated like hell to make this tired old man the president.....WTF
Right-Joe couldn’t efficiently house-sit a cat...how could he be President??
I was expecting satire, not factual news.
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