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Swalwell Spy Scandal Pooh-Poohed [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 Dec 2020 | John Semmens

Posted on 12/13/2020 1:20:21 PM PST by John Semmens

This week it was revealed that Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif), a member of the House Intelligence Committee, had been seduced by a Chinese spy during the Obama Administration. House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif) called for Swalwell to be removed from the Intel Committee as a security risk.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) pooh-poohed the idea, saying that "if we oust everyone who's a security risk who will we have left? There's no proof that the four year long intimate relationship with Christine Fang resulted in any state secrets being compromised. Eric insists he never told her anything. Singling him out for demotion would be unfair. Over in the Senate, a Chinese spy was Sen. Feinstein's chauffeur for 20 years. We didn't see Republican senators demanding her ouster."

"Besides, we have a new president coming into office in January," Pelosi said. "I can't believe that Joe Biden would be disturbed in the least by Eric's behavior. Why, Biden's own son has been doing deals with the Chinese and kicking back a cut to his dad for years. If a big fish like Joe can keep his job then a little fish like Eric should be allowed to keep his. If we start punishing people for things like this we'll undermine our entire government."

For his part, an indignant Swalwell is demanding an investigation to find out who leaked the story of his indiscreet relationship. "That this would come out after the statute of limitations has passed evinces a degree of malice that is unforgivable," he charged. "Speaker :Pelosi knew about my affair and forgave me. But disclosing previously suppressed facts to destroy a person is the kind of political smear tactic we've come to expect from Trump. If he hadn't lost the election I'd be pushing him to be impeached again."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=422526.0


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: china; democrats; feinstein; pelosi; satire; spies

1 posted on 12/13/2020 1:20:21 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

SF Nan, and Adam the Schitz both stand with Swalloweasel. That makes them co-conspirators


2 posted on 12/13/2020 1:23:42 PM PST by BigEdLB (All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others-George Orwell)
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To: John Semmens

If this moron had been an NCO or Officer in the military and held a Top Secret clearance and this information came out about him he would have been relieved of his security clearance, relieved of duty, and cleaning bathrooms.

This would all be done upon the detection of the threat, not proof of having divulged classified data.

Senile air headed Nancy needs to look at how real rational and dedicated patriots treat these threats and quit playing politics with our national security.

Hey Nancy, your either the most stupid and ignorant member of the house or you are playing for the Chinese team that both your son and Hunter Biden are on.

Yes, her son is right square in the middle of the Chinese purchase of our government officials.

Nancy doesn’t talk about that too much.


3 posted on 12/13/2020 1:35:43 PM PST by oldenuff35
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To: John Semmens
You're a spy??? I just thought I was doing great with you...


4 posted on 12/13/2020 1:57:32 PM PST by Hatteras
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To: John Semmens

Really good John.

Jonathan Swift level.

Or, maybe I am in a good mood...


5 posted on 12/13/2020 2:28:23 PM PST by marktwain (President Trump and his supporters are the Resistance. His opponents are the Reactionaries. )
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To: Hatteras

Hatteras.
Once upon a time, my favorite spot on the face of the earth (or elsewhere). What a screen name!


6 posted on 12/13/2020 3:20:05 PM PST by HangThemHigh (Entropy is not what it used to be.)
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To: John Semmens

The headline writer missed an opportunity here:

“Fang Fang Pooh Poohed”


7 posted on 12/14/2020 7:09:50 AM PST by BubbaBasher ("Liberty will not long survive the total extinction of morals" - Sam Adams)
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