Posted on 11/24/2020 8:25:28 AM PST by John Semmens
In response to the perceived "second wave" of COVID-19 cases, various luminaries are advancing lame ideas for dealing with it.
Though the largest controlled study of masks found no significant differences in COVID infection rates between those who did and didn't wear masks, media proclaimed President-Elect Joe Biden recommends "that everyone wear a mask until my inauguration. This is the surest way to guarantee that there will be enough survivors for me to govern when I'm president." Biden dismissed contentions that the type of masks that almost everyone has been wearing offer little to no protection, saying "I know that's not true. I always wear a mask and have not gotten the virus. Trump often did not wear a mask and did get infected. There couldn't be any clearer proof that masks work. Besides, wearing a mask shows your patriotism."
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (D-NY) is recommending that "we fight the virus by paying everyone to stay home. All the previous lockdowns were only partial. So-called essential businesses were allowed to remain open. Well, a study found that the most common place visited by those testing positive for the virus was supermarkets. Yet, supermarkets were designated as 'essential businesses' and allowed to stay open. We need to close this gap in our defenses against COVID. As I see it, if everything is closed down for six weeks, like President Biden has recommended, no one will get infected and the virus will die off."
Gov. Kate Brown (D-Ore) announced a "two-week freeze" on virtually all business and recreational activities and penalties of up to 30 days in jail and/or fines up to $1,250 for anyone who violates her freeze decree. Ironically, the leading virus super-spreader sites—supermarkets—will be allowed to operate at up to 75% of capacity. "If everyone would just stay home for two weeks we can beat this plague," Brown predicted.
Despite being told more than once by state court judges that she lacks the authority, Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D-Mich) instituted a new "pause to save lives" and banned indoor dining. She also decreed that "for Thanksgiving no more than two households may gather at the same place for dinner. This is my moderate restriction. Ideally, if everyone were to dine alone for the remainder of the year we would beat back the COVID monster once and for all." Reps. Beau LaFave, Matt Maddock and Daire Rendon threatened to launch an impeachment effort against her "for usurping powers that belong to the legislature."
Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-Calif) declared that "it's time to pull the emergency brake for all counties in the purple tier. People living in this high-risk zone must refrain from any non-essential movements or gatherings between the hours of 10 pm and 5 am unless they work in the entertainment industry, which I have determined to be an essential business. Holiday gatherings must be limited to a maximum of ten persons, all dining must be outdoors, participants must remain at least six feet apart, and masks must be worn at all times." Newsom himself was observed attending an indoor dinner party where participants sat shoulder-to-shoulder and no one wore masks. Accosted for breaking the rules he prescribed, Newsom replied that "I forgot" and blamed "the stress of governing when so many are disobeying or criticizing" for his lapse of memory.
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=420544.0
How about injecting bleach? Seems to be popular among unhinged Democrats suffering from terminal TDS.
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