Michigan Gov Builds a Wall [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 September 2020 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

While Gov. Gretchen Whitmer has frequently scoffed at President Trump's faith that a wall could protect the United States from being infiltrated by illegal immigrants, drugs and terrorists, she has authorized the expenditure of over a million dollars to build a wall around her residence.

Reminded of the seeming inconsistency between her words and deeds, the Governor contended that "the two cases are completely different. Trump's wall aims to block people who love America and want to share in the American dream from exercising their human right to live wherever they wish. My wall is necessary to protect me from anyone who might seek to harm me."

"I have had to make many hard decisions over these past six months," Whitmer explained. "I've ordered schools and businesses to be closed. I've had to watch as people's livelihoods were stripped from them. I've seen people who venture out from their homes without wearing masks endanger the rest of us on a routine basis despite my constant hectoring and threats. Now, many in the state call me a tyrant. If this is what they truly believe then my safety is endangered."

"When times are tough, rulers have to do unpleasant things," she added. "Ensuring that there is a substantial barrier between the ruler and the ruled is my right. Investing a mere million dollars in state funds to secure this right is only common sense."

In a related story of separation of the rulers from the ruled, in San Francisco all the private gyms have been closed by government decree due to the pandemic. However, it turns out that gyms inside government buildings have been allowed to stay open. Mayor London Breed attempted to justify this unequal treatment by pointing out that "private gyms were declared nonessential. They had to be shutdown to stem the spread of COVID. Government was declared an essential activity that must remain operating at all times. The gyms in the government buildings had to stay open to ensure that essential government employees could maintain their health and fitness."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=414055.0

[JimRed]

"When times are tough, rulers have to do unpleasant things," she added.

Confirming that public servants have morphed into rulers. Time for the torches and pitchforks!

[Eleutheria5]

But wear your masks. And if you love Governor Whitmer’s yard and want to enjoy the good life there, it is your right to jump over that wall, if you can deal with her guard dogs and goons.

[Viking2002]

It's to prevent someone from sneaking in and throwing a bucket of water on her, then livestreaming her melting......

Afternoon, John.

[clearcarbon]

Now, if every citizen of Michigan could just bring a cinder block to her place something much higher could be constructed to completely wall her in. Maybe it could even be spotted from the moon.

[Do_Tar]

I have enough trouble figuring out how much of the Babylon Bee is satire.
These Semi Satire/Semi Truth just make my head hurt. :}

[clearcarbon]

"It's to prevent someone from sneaking in and throwing a bucket of water on her, "

[SuperLuminal]

""When times are tough, rulers have to do unpleasant things," she added. "Ensuring that there is a substantial barrier between the ruler and the ruled is my right. Investing a mere million dollars in state funds to secure this right is only common sense.""

There it is... Straight from the Michigan politburo and its nomenklatura...
To me, at least, a communist despot's admission of guilt...
(Her heartfelt plea for a free dirt nap)