"Being Democrat means never having to say you're sorry"
Posted on 05/02/2020 2:11:10 AM PDT by John Semmens
This week, former Vice-President Joe Biden went on MSNBC to answer questions about Tara Reade's accusation that he sexually assaulted her in 1993 when she worked for him in his senate office.
Biden insisted that "it never happened. I think I have a good feel for where the boundaries are when it comes to touching women. I know I have been filmed sniffing, stroking, and nuzzling women and girls thousands of times, but I can say unequivocally, that I've never been filmed groping, fondling, or raping any of them. I'd say that the weight of this evidence proves I'm not guilty."
The presidential candidate rejected the idea that he make his personal Senate papers archived at the University of Delaware available to be searched, saying "my staff has already searched these papers and assures me that no meaningful documents can be found there." Instead, he maintained that "the National Archives is where the records of all the crimes committed by every government official are deposited. If anything is to be found, it will be there."
John Valceanu, director of communications for the archives, said he is "confident that no such documents are in our possession. All complaints lodged against senators are kept by the Senate." Secretary of the Senate Julie Adams declined to confirm or deny Valceanu's claim, insisting "we have paid good money to keep accusations private. Unless there is a court order, any information we have will remain private."
In related news, former Senator Chris Dodd (D-Conn) has been fingered by Biden to head up the search for his vice-presidential running mate. "Chris has the kind of experience that will be critical in selecting the woman who will best fit the role I have in mind for my vice-president," Biden said. It wasn't clear whether Biden was referring to the 1985 incident at the Washington, D.C. restaurant, La Brassiere where Dodd was the bottom slice of the "waitress sandwich" he and Senator Ted Kennedy (D-Mass) formed with a restaurant employee.
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/282096-2020-05-02-semi-news-semi-satire-may-3-2020-edition.htm
ping
:-) “fingered” Dodd
It’s all been very touching. Very touching. Lots of touching.
Thanks as usual, John, for another fine column.
Mister Biden's "quotes" would be believed by anyone who reads them (he writes his own satire one might say.)
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