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Gov Tells Virginians to Adapt to "New Normal" [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 19 April 2020 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/22/2020 10:13:36 AM PDT by John Semmens

Gov. Ralph Northam (D-Va) extended his ordered state shutdown to May 8, but isn't optimistic that business and life "will ever be the same as it used to be."

"Given that there won't be a vaccine anytime soon, as well as the probability that, at best, it may only be partially effective, it looks like the COVID virus will be around a long time," he pointed out. "The shelter-in-place I ordered is working. Not only are we flattening the curve and saving people from dying of the virus, we are also saving people from the perils of unnecessary travel. With less travel there are fewer crashes and the air is less polluted. I'm reluctant to give up these gains."

"I reject the contention that the cost of the shutdown is too great to bear," the Governor said. "My order was limited to nonessential activities. While this has required many people to drastically change the way they live, I think it is a good trade-off. Think about it. Is there ever any need to put up with nonessential activities? Isn't spending time and money on nonessential things an unnecessary burden on society? Between the lives saved and the efficiencies achieved by eliminating the nonessential behaviors we have mindlessly incorporated into our daily routine, it looks to me that adapting to a 'new normal' is the way to go."

Meanwhile in North Carolina, in accord with the orders of Gov. Roy Cooper (D), police broke up a protest against the state's closed economy on the grounds that "protesting is a 'nonessential activity' that is explicitly banned by the governor."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=398715.0


TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: democrats; satire; tyranny; virus

1 posted on 04/22/2020 10:13:36 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Master is gonna lord it over his slaves.


2 posted on 04/22/2020 10:20:13 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (The fish wrap media promoted Obama's Benghazi lies in 2012.)
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To: John Semmens
"...on orders of Gov. Roy Cooper (D), police broke up a protest against the state's closed economy..."

They were only following orders too.


3 posted on 04/22/2020 10:30:58 AM PDT by Bonemaker (invictus maneo)
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To: John Semmens

Sounds like another governor who has violated both the letter & intent of the Constitution or are they immune to it? Hope someone higher up is taking names & writing them down.


4 posted on 04/22/2020 10:34:06 AM PDT by oldtech
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