Buttigieg & Klobuchar Spar Over Pro-Lifers [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 16 Feb 2020 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Surging Democratic presidential candidates former South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg and Sen. Amy Klobuchar (Minn) staked out different positions concerning whether individuals opposed to abortion could be good Democrats.

Buttigieg asserted that "the Bible tells us that life begins with breath. As long as the baby can be prevented from breathing no transgression occurs from aborting its birth. The platform of the Democratic Party conforms to this Biblical guideline by favoring the right of every woman to have an abortion if she wants one. A person who opposes this very fundamental human right isn't really a Democrat. Allowing such a person inside the Party makes about as much sense as allowing an Independent to run for our Party's presidential nomination."

Klobuchar disagreed, saying "I believe we are a 'big tent' Party. Of course our policy will always be 100% supportive toward a woman's right to an abortion. However, I see no reason why pro-life individuals should be barred as long as they don't publicly oppose the Party's stance. Winning elections requires effort. Every dollar, every phone call, every door-to-door visit helps. It would be foolish for us to refuse to take their donations of time and money. If they provide this help their person opinions don't matter."

Meanwhile, former Vice-President Joe Biden inadvertently endorsed Pete Buttigieg for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination, saying "this guy has honor, he has courage, he's smart as hell, clean and a good looking guy." These words were reminiscent of those he used to endorse Barack Obama after his own bid for the Democratic presidential nomination failed in 2008. Reminded of this, Biden pointed out that "being VP isn't a bad gig. Not too much is expected of you. You get to travel to exotic places, make new friends, and pursue business opportunities that aren't available to average schmos. Heck, I'd re-up for that as Pete's number two guy."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=391854.0

[Viking2002]

The only thing Buttgiggle will ever give birth to will be accompanied by the sound of Charmin unspooling and an American Standard flushing. And after one look at that kid Slobberchops spawned, it's enough to make you think good and hard about birth control.

Morning, John. 😋

[MrEdd]

Jeremiah 1:5 says something entirely different.

[Zathras]

Buttplug and Amy are followers.
They do what they are told to do.
This is all fake Clinton triangliazatzon trying to get votes from the Midwest