Posted on 01/09/2020 10:35:21 AM PST by wastedyears
My Dad passed at around 11:45am at the hospital. We were expecting it, but hearing it still hurts a lot.
He got e-coli by eating raw oysters or clams when on vacation in the early 80s, before I was conceived. My parents had been trying to have a kid, but that was preventing it; they eventually found out what it was, but the damage had been done by then.
Some years ago, he found out his kidneys were failing. He found out about the PD dialysis which he could do at home, and was optimistic about the future, how he would get a new kidney and even though retired, relax through his remaining life. Then more things started to go wrong.
Open heart surgery to replace two valves, a pacemaker, and 3 strokes in a year and a half. Winter 2017 he was feeling horrible, and *made a joke* about having walking pneumonia. Turned he out had pneumonia, flu, and an infection of his stomach lining. That stubborn ass conceived me and my sister.
This time, it was just too much. He had pneumonia, for which he waited about 2 months to seek treatment for. During that time, he was eating poorly and sleeping most of the time. Then he had what the medical team guesses were a series of mini strokes due to a clot in his heart, and that pretty much ruined his brain, and that was it. He was intubated Wednesday last week; my sister was his healthcare proxy, and decided on that so me, my Mom and his brother could at least see him while he was alive.
I didn't have a close relationship with him, but he was still my father. Me and my Mom went to bring the original healthcare proxy forms to the hospital this passed Tuesday. His nephrologist and his small team were across the street from the hospital, so we went there first to thank them for everything they tried to do for him in the years my Dad was going to him. Then we went to the hospital to bring the papers, and I turned into a mess after seeing him. He had the breathing tube in and probably wasn't able to say anything even without it, but I'm glad I was able to see him alive one last time. I couldn't really say anything to my Mom or the doctor, as I know it's difficult to understand me when I'm sobbing.
As incredible cold-blooded and rude as it sounds, he did it to himself, because he never sought treatment soon enough for anything, with the strokes being the sole exception.
Semi-related, he introduced me to this site and science fiction, for which I will be eternally grateful. I like some of his music, but went my own way in junior high - my stuff got heavier.
Mark Henriquez
1954 - 2020
Hugs.
My most sincere condolences for your loss.
L
So sorry to hear this. Prayers for you and your family.
My condolences........He was my age...................
Im so sorry for your loss..condolences to you and your family
Sorry to hear this. RIP
I’m so sorry. Prayers up for you and your family.
Prayers up!
My condolences. Prayers for you and your family.
I’m so sorry. May your dad rest in peace.
I have had family members who had a lot of pain..dementia .. heart problems..and was certain they were relieved to pass on.
Very sorry for your loss (and ours).
So sorry, my FRiend.
Prayers for you and your family.
Thank you for the wise and heartfelt advice about seeking medical attention. May our Lord in Heaven have mercy of your father and grant the repose of his soul and provide comfort and consolation to you, your mother, your sister, and your whole family.
Saddened to hear this. But it sounds like he lived life on his own terms
Sending condolences and hugs. Glad you were able to see him one last time.
My deepest sympathies. My prayers are with you & your family.
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