Former FBI Lawyer Sues for Invasion of Privacy [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 15 Dec 2019 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Lisa Page, former FBI lawyer and paramour of FBI agent Peter Strzok, has filed suit against the Department of Justice for invasion of privacy. The "invasion" was the public release of texts and emails between her and Strzok, including those that discussed their participation in the plot against Trump that was carried out by the FBI.

"There were dozens of FBI employees plotting against Trump," Page said. "Extramarital affairs were perks widely accepted at the Agency. Singling out my affair and evidence of my participation in the conspiracy was discriminatory. I will not stand for being made the lone scapegoat in the operation."

Former FBI Director James Comey chastized Page for "using her government-issued cell phone to conduct what should have been confidential communications. That was stupid. The Agency policy has always been to use 'burner phones' for all illegal operations and illicit sexual liaisons."

Strzok says he may join Page's suit "because the publication of my conversations has harmed both my marriage and career by giving the impression that I am unusually untrustworthy. In truth, I am no worse than most of my former superiors at the Agency."

In related news, current FBI Director Christopher Wray vowed to prevent future scandals by "increasing our employees' pay so they can afford the added expense of buying burner phones to aid in the concealment of any future illicit covert operations."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/273230-2019-12-14-semi-news-semi-satire-december-15-2019-edition.htm

[John Semmens]

ping

[Hardastarboard]

Strzok says he may join Page's suit "because the publication of my conversations has harmed both my marriage and career by giving the impression that I am unusually untrustworthy. In truth, I am no worse than most of my former superiors at the Agency."

BRILLIANT!! LOLOL

[ptsal]

The pay raise to cover the added expense of burner phones was a nice touch.

---

Perhaps, a clarifying footnote can be added stating these phones are readily available and can be purchased at Walmart stores in southern Virginia.

[Liz]

THE QUASI-QUOTE ON THE MONEY: "Strzok may join Page's lawsuit "because the publication of my conversations
has harmed both my marriage and career by giving the impression that I am unusually untrustworthy. In truth, I am
no worse than most of my former superiors at the Agency."

ROTFLOL.......once again, not far from the truth. One can almost hear the commiserating whiners when the lovebirds got caught.

[sima_yi]

...by "increasing our employees' pay so they can afford the added expense of buying burner phones...

I about fell on the floor laughing. Great one, John!

[SunkenCiv]

It may *seem* like satire, but with this corrupt crowd of Democretins, it could indeed happen .

[Hypo2]

Her collective “we” is defined as the “voters”, but Trump’s collective “we” in his Ukraine call means his “personal gain”???