Textbook example on how to lose an election----2004 loser prez candidate Kerry "reports for duty."
Posted on 12/07/2019 12:49:48 AM PST by John Semmens
Former Vice-President Joe Biden predicted that governing the country once he is elected president "may be difficult. The runaway prosperity that Trump has embroiled the country in will be hard to undo. Business investment plans predicated on low taxes and looser regulations will see the handwriting on the wall after the votes are counted and I've won. They'll rush to move money outside our borders and start laying off workers before I can be inaugurated and stop them with an Executive Order."
"Thankfully, there is a bright side to an economic recession," Biden argued. "There'll be less pollution, not only from closing smoke-belching factories, but also from lower traffic as unemployed workers won't have to drive to jobs. The cleaner air will have widespread health benefits. Newly unemployed persons can devote more time to getting fit like I have since early 2017. In fact, once voters grasp that I can do more push-ups than Trump they'll chuck that bloated blimp aside and put a real man in the White House."
In related news, Biden blew his top at a stop on his "no malarkey" tour of Iowa when a prospective supporter raised the issue of Biden bragging about firing a Ukraine prosecutor who just happened to be investigating a company that was paying his son one million dollars a year for a "no show" job. Joe deftly rebutted the questioner's concerns by pointing out that he was "a damn liar," "fat," and "too old to vote." The would-be next president concluded his effort at winning the 83-year-old man's vote by challenging him to an IQ test and asking him to "feel my muscles."
Oddly enough, this episode was the decisive factor inspiring former Secretary of State John Kerry's endorsement of Biden for president. "I believe Joe Biden is the President our country desperately needs right now," Kerry alleged. "The way he was able to help his beleaguered son make millions after he was dishonorably discharged from the Navy was impressive. With the broader power of a president there's no telling how many more sons of important people he could help." Kerry says he "will be reporting for duty on the next leg of Joe's 'no malarkey tour.'"
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/272970-2019-12-07-semi-news-semi-satire-december-8-2019-edition.htm
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Textbook example on how to lose an election----2004 loser prez candidate Kerry "reports for duty."
If even Slow Joe can finger it out, what’s everyone elses excuse?
The only unbelievable part of the satire is the idea that Joe Biden (or any Democrat) has enough economic literacy to know and predict that. The little bushy tailed mooches that live in the trees in my backyard know more about economics than the entire Democrat Presidential field.
What has Biden accomplished in his years in Government.
Answer: Got his son a lucrative job.
predicts? hell... he'll INSIST on it!!!
But the hair on his legs—————Oh, let’s not go there.
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