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Schiff Defends Restrictions on GOP Access to Documents [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 27 Oct 2019 | John Semmens

Posted on 10/26/2019 1:00:39 AM PDT by John Semmens

House Intelligence Committee Chairman Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif) defended the restrictions he has decreed for Republican members of Congress who want to review the transcripts of the secret testimony his impeachment hearings are compiling. Under his rules there is only a single copy of the transcripts that is kept in a locked room under the constant guard of Democratic staff. Republicans wanting to see the transcripts cannot take notes and must agree to be strip searched before they are allowed to leave the room.

"Back in 2003 an individual stole and destroyed some classified documents from our National Archives," Schiff recalled. "To prevent this type of illicit theft of government documents of vital importance to our inquiry we must take every reasonable precaution. Inasmuch as many Republicans are on record denouncing our investigation, the threat that they would similarly steal and destroy the evidence we are accumulating is palpable. If Republicans don't like the limits I have placed on them they could do what every genuine American patriot is now doing—wait for me to reveal the evidence of Trump's high crimes to the general public. When the time is right they'll see all that needs to be seen on CNN."

The 2003 theft mentioned by Schiff was carried out by Sandy Berger, former President Clinton's National Security Advisor. Berger told a friend that he took five documents out of the Archives stuffed inside his underwear. These classified documents covering the Clinton Administration's mishandling of terrorist threats were never recovered. Berger was allowed to plead to misdemeanor unauthorized removal of the documents and was fined $50,000, sentenced to serve two years of probation and 100 hours of community service, and stripped of his security clearance for three years. The sentencing judge explained the light penalty, saying "I didn't want this poor fellow to end up on the list of mysterious deaths that seem to have befallen the friends and associates of the Clintons over the years."

In related news, a group of Republicans who tried to sit in the gallery to observe the testimony being given at Schiff's closed door hearings were declared "boring, nerdy-looking white guys" by MSNBC's Donny Deutsch. "They fancy themselves as fighters for citizens' constitutional rights, but they didn't break anything. Neither did they hit or even threaten anyone. All they did was order pizzas to be delivered. At least we have Antifa on our side. They aren't squeamish about really fighting for what we believe in. I'm glad that the Republicans showed the world what wimps they are in comparison."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/270654-2019-10-26-semi-news-semi-satire-october-27-2019-edition.htm


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: republicans; satire; schiff; trump

1 posted on 10/26/2019 1:00:39 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 10/26/2019 1:01:24 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
'In related news, a group of Republicans who tried to sit in the gallery to observe the testimony being given at Schiff's closed door hearings were declared "boring, nerdy-looking white guys" by MSNBC's Donny Deutsch. "They fancy themselves as fighters for citizens' constitutional rights, but they didn't break anything. Neither did they hit or even threaten anyone. All they did was order pizzas to be delivered. At least we have Antifa on our side. They aren't squeamish about really fighting for what we believe in. I'm glad that the Republicans showed the world what wimps they are in comparison."'

I am so ready to settle this in the alley.........

I hope you got your shittin' pants on.........

3 posted on 10/26/2019 1:21:51 AM PDT by Viking2002 (WARNING: Eating too much oatmeal can make you look like Wilford Brimley.)
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To: Viking2002

Schiff Defends Restrictions on GOP Access to Documents

https://www.trendsmap.com/twitter/tweet/1183203702540251136


4 posted on 10/26/2019 2:58:39 AM PDT by a little elbow grease (... to err is human, to admit it divine ...)
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To: John Semmens

Thank you for your posts.


5 posted on 10/26/2019 3:58:59 AM PDT by 1raider1
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To: 1raider1

Schiff give comedy a BAD name.


6 posted on 10/26/2019 3:59:42 AM PDT by CMailBag
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To: John Semmens

“Back in 2003 an individual stole and destroyed some classified documents from our National Archives,” Schiff recalled. “

If I recall correctly the thief was a member of the Rat party just like Schiff.


7 posted on 10/26/2019 6:36:21 AM PDT by puppypusher ( The world is going to the dogs.)
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To: puppypusher

Ya do recall correctly. It also happened during the Shrubya admin. True to form Shrub didn’t say peep turkey. Consent by silence, his “legacy”.


8 posted on 10/26/2019 7:13:56 AM PDT by rawcatslyentist ("All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing")
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