Posted on 06/17/2019 11:58:24 AM PDT by John Semmens
In a bid to out-promise his rivals for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination, former Vice-President Joe Biden has pledged to cure cancer if he is elected. As it so often happens when Biden gloms onto an idea it turns out not to be an original thought. It was in 1971 that the much reviled President Richard Nixon declared war on cancer. He even persuaded Congress to pass the National Cancer Act (P.L. 92218).
The governments war on cancer is now nearing its 50th year. A recent development was the Obama Administrations Cancer Moonshot initiative that Biden himself announced in early 2016. The idea was to imitate JFKs pledge to put a man on the moon within a decade, Biden explained. The problem with Nixons plan is that unlike JFK he didnt set a deadline for achieving the goal. I wont make that same mistake once Im elected president. There will be a firm deadline and severe penalties will be imposed for failure to meet it.
The candidate refused to elaborate on what these penalties might be or to clarify how such a threat could be expected to generate the scientific breakthrough required to produce a cure, saying Im not going to show my cards until voters do their part to give me the powers that I need to make this miracle happen. The important thing to remember is that right now I am the only candidate who has offered to cure this dreaded disease. Thats more than any of my competitors have done.
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://azconservative.org/2019/06/15/calif-dem-wants-felons-on-juries/
For his sake, he should be trying to cure dementia.
No need, Joe. Trump is almost done curing it already. Find yourself another illness to cure. perhaps AIDs, which should appeal to your gay base.
He should have went for baldness.
In response, AOC announcing to be first, if elected, to put a man on the sun.
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