Posted on 04/20/2019 12:47:20 AM PDT by John Semmens
A recent poll showing that 70% of Russians approve of former dictator Josef Stalin's role in history was warmly greeted by Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) as "proof that socialism is the type of government that the people want. If he were the kind of brutal tyrant that the enemies of socialism claim he was why do the people love him so much?"
"A majority of Russians now believe that the millions of people he had tortured and killed was justified," the Congresswoman also pointed out. "He was trying to save his nation from individualistic greed and transform it into a collectivist society where the good of the whole was placed above all other values. That is precisely what I'm trying to do with my Green New Deal. That 'life, liberty and pursuit of happiness' crap may have been suitable for the white-privilege dandies who wrote the Constitution, but it is not the vision the young people of today want for their future."
"If we thoughtfully reexamine Stalin's policies we can see the positive impacts they had on global warming," Ocasio-Cortez contended. "The famine he skillfully engineered in the Ukraine decreased the greenhouse gas emissions from millions of people and livestock. The spartan living conditions that naturally flowed from his abolition of capitalistic exploitation helped Russians to learn to get by with less—less food, less housing, and less freedom. These are the kind of changes the whole world must strive for if we want to save the planet."
Fellow socialist Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt) took the occasion of the release of the polling results to remind everyone that "I spent my honeymoon in the Soviet Union before its lurch toward capitalism after the collapse of the dictatorship. I was socialist before it was cool. Now that it is becoming cool among our millenials I hope my early adoption of collectivist ideals will inspire them to vote for me to be America's next president."
New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell (D) professed herself "unsurprised by these poll results. I recently toured Cuba and saw for myself how the formerly hedonistic island was reshaped into a hard-core socialist paradise. Before the revolution Cuba was a typical capitalistic playground for the rich. Now it is a boot camp for the socialist minions of tomorrow. The government health care system and the widespread reliance on manual labor has made the population remarkably fit—enabling thousands of Cubans to paddle all the way to Florida on make-shift rafts and flimsy boats. This is something that fat and lazy Americans could never replicate. I became convinced that we need socialism in America now more than ever. Though there may be a lot of grousing along the way, the rise of Stalin's polling numbers shows that in the long run voters will be happier if they trade their freedom for the stimulating rigors and comradship of a collectivist society."
Democratic presidential candidate Mayor Pete Buttigieg of South Bend Indiana took the rising opinion on Stalin as a cue "to take a careful look at the work camps he established as a possible model for national public service for all young adults. I believe it would instill a great sense of unity among Americans in a fashion similar to the unity Stalin achieved among his people as he fought to survive the capitalist aggressors surrounding his country. If every young person had to toil for a period of time without pay for the good of the nation we would build a stronger sense of belonging to the community than our current policy of leaving them to chart their own destinies in our cruel and insensitive free market."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/259878-2019-04-20-semi-news-semi-satire-april-21-2019-edition.htm
ping
Those first three paragraphs aren’t satire, at all. If they’re not direct quotes from AOC, then they at least represent a direct pipeline from her brain.
“If every young person had to toil for a period of time without pay for the good of the nation”
What a terrifying, Khmer Rouge/Maoist Cultural Revolution thing to say publicly.
Fortunately, young people (unless they are from wealthy families) see no point in working for free. My children have a “service requirement” in school, with a lot of leeway as to where they do it. The parents all sign off on each others’ forms to indicate these kids help out at each others’ places.
These commissars advocating this slavery as Dem policy need to take a look at Dem strongholds (urban sh!tholes) and see exactly how few people there volunteer for anything.
Good one.
Bookmark
Democrat candidate Elizabeth Warren further opined “The gulags were Comrade Stalin’s greatest idea. His NKVD rounded up enemies of the people and shipped them off to where they could do no more harm. If we had a civilian force as well funded and armed as our military, we could accomplish the same thing. Republicans, conservatives and others who do not agree with us could be incarcerated. There, while working for the collective, they could reflect and repent of their ThoughtCrimes.”
all of our loud mouthed panty waste leftists would have been on one of Stalins ‘lists’
he liked nice round numbers (usually in the thousands), and to pad them out, his underlings added anyone who ‘shot their mouths off’ to the lists for the executions.
One hopes they will all get to meet their hero in hell.
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