Posted on 04/05/2019 9:30:48 PM PDT by John Semmens
South Bend, Indiana Mayor Pete Buttigieg issued an abject apology for saying "all lives matter" back in 2015. "I was young and naive then," the Mayor said. "I have since learned that the correct position is that only black lives matter. As a counterpoint, I want to remind voters that I am the only openly gay man in the race for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination. So, I, too, am a member of a protected class that has a long history of oppression in this country. I ask that voters take this into consideration when they evaluate which Democrat should be the next president of the United States."
Wayne Messam, mayor of Miramar, Fla. and fellow contender for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination took issue with what he called "my opponent's efforts to escape blame for his insensitivity. We black people suffered hundreds of years of slavery and second-class citizenship. Mayor Pete and other gay individuals easily avoided similar oppression by keeping their sexual orientation secret. They've only come out into the open now that sexual deviancy is widely accepted and encouraged."
Perhaps feeling pressed by Mayor Pete's $7 million campaign chest, former Texas Rep. Beto O'Rourke quickly announced that "I will sign legislation authorizing a committee to study racial reparations for descendants of slaves."
O'Rourke's pledge was lampooned as "wimpy" by rival contender Sen. Kamala Harris (Calif). "I will order reparations by executive decree," she vowed. "We don't want the kind of delays that could arise from a commission study or congressional inaction. And we don't need the complication of johnny-come-lately pseudo victims like Buttigieg or Warren."
For her part, Sen. Elizabeth Warren (Mass) blasted what she termed "inadequate half-measures for repairing the historic wrongs perpetrated by the white man. When I become president all of the land within the United States will be ceded back to its original Native American inhabitants. All other races will either pay rent or be deported back to their ancestors' country of origin in either Europe or Africa."
In related news, 2024 Democratic presidential hopeful Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (NY) admitted that she was "pleasantly surprised by Sen. Warren's proposal, but it doesn't go far enough. Sending all the human inhabitants of the western hemisphere back would be the biggest thing we could do to avert the destruction of the planet due to global warning. Humans didn't originate here. Allowing the non-human biosphere to return to its natural state before it was polluted by humans would be a world-saving event."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/259008-2019-04-05-semi-news-semi-satire-april-7-2019-edition.htm
ping
Hey are you white males first of all you need not apply
and if you do apply then you better just apologize all day every day for being a white male and a oppressing all these poor minorities and what not if you want to be a democrat
Especially you you dumb little faggot twit. Beg ! Now ! Get on your knees !
Nowadays even satire almost writes itself. :^) Thanks John.
Bookmark
Lets welcome Tim Ryan and Eric Swallows (D-CA) to the race.
Good work on the progression of insane ideas, but you left off the genocide one. Which is where they ultimately will take us.
I wonder if this little gay is communist like his dad.They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree..I THINL THAT IS IT..Daddy dearest was an Anti-American-Marxist..Joseph Buttigieg — the father of Pete Buttigieg, the South Bend mayor turned Democrat fresh face being pushed as a 2020 presidential contender — was a hardcore communist who agitated for the destruction of the United States Constitution and propagandized students everyday, pushing his leftist, anti-American beliefs while teaching at the University of Notre Dame.
The fake news media loves the younger Bittigieg, and his father’s background supporting communism —https://www.alipac.us/f19/pete-buttigieg%92s-father-anti-american-marxist-professor-notre-dame-371008/
Thx
The genocide is implied for those who resist deportation.
So, what would Hitler do"?
I count 20.
And McAuliffe & Bullock are serious.
A)
I would recommend the Jerry Brown/Frank Church 1976 strategy.
They announced around March 16, 1976 and won a combined 7 primaries.
B) By March, 80% of these folks will be out. The resulting frontrunner may stumble ... opening an opportunity for the late-comer.
Is that possible with today’s ballot access law to get on the ballots so late?
They’d hafta do ballot qualification early and then start actively campaigning later.
Maybe Maxine “dirty” Waters can join the parade.
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