Red Ants And An Arrest – Funny Cop Story

Am Shooting Journal ^ | 5/16/2018 | S Young

[w1n1]

While conducting a traffic stop on a busy two-lane road I had asked the driver for their license and registration and then returned to my vehicle to check their credentials.
This is when I felt the sudden yet all-too-familiar stings on my ankle and leg. When I looked down I noticed that my foot was entirely engulfed in fire ants.

The roadway where I conducted this traffic stop is very narrow and I had to be careful entering or exiting my vehicle to ensure not stepping into oncoming traffic. Hastily, I kicked off my boot but continued to get stung inside my uniform pants.
I pulled off my sock because it too was covered in fire ants. I carefully held my boot and sock out of the car window, and shook them violently to get rid of the ants. In doing so the sock flew out of my hand into the oncoming traffic which launched it about 50 feet passed the vehicle I had pulled over.. Read the rest of this Red Ants Arrest story here.

[dinodino]

This is the second one of these stories I’ve read posted here which wasn’t funny. Do I just not get cop humor?

[Hot Tabasco]

There’s nothing funny about ants, fire or not.

[MrEdd]

There’s nothing funny about ants, fire or not.

All you blue aardvarks say that.

I don't think it's true.

[Quality_Not_Quantity]

i agree that these ‘funny cop stories’ aren’t particularly funny...

[T-Bone Texan]

I can tolerate AM Shooting Jernel as long as they stick to guns and shooting stuff, but only barely.

This is, like, 2 strikes, man.

[Quality_Not_Quantity]

This is, like, 2 strikes, man.

Reminds me of the joke about the guy who brings a new girlfriend home only to find that the dog has chewed up the mail. He stares at the dog and says, "That's one."

Next, he finds that the dog has chewed up a pillow in the living room. He says to the dog, "That's two." When they get into the bedroom and find that the dog has peed in the corner, he looks at the dog, says "That's three" and pulls out his gun and shoots the dog.

The new girlfriend, horrified at what's she's witnessed, starts to protest the brutality of the guy. He looks at her and says,

"That's One."

[Howie66]

Several years ago, my boss was awakened by a home invasion. After grabbing his shotgun, he then located the perp and took him into custody. He then marched the guy out of his home and gave the guy some hand cuffs while keeping the shotgun aimed at the guy’s chest. He then told the guy to put the cuffs on one wrist and then to wrap both arms around a small tree by the front door. His wife was on the phone with the cops, giving them details. Once the bad guy was secured to the tree, he lowered his gun and waited for the cops to arrive. He said that he had “forgotten” that at the base of the tree, was a nice sized fire ant mound. The officers who showed up were busy taking my boss’s statement and doing their on scene investigation while the perp was having “fun” with his new “playmates”. After some time, statements taken and everything was wrapped up, the cops hauled the bad guy off to jail and all was well.

[al_c]

Red Ants:

Fire Ants:

In Texas, we have both. Not so many Red Ants anymore though ... thanks to the pesky Fire Ants. Hate those critters!

[SgtHooper]

One of my greatest joys in moving back North from Texas, was the ability to lay down on my yard without being attacked by fire ants. A warm day under a shade tree, hearing the birds, laying on a blanket, for a nice nap. Priceless! (Sometimes waking with a cat butt in my face!)

[Hot Tabasco]

I hate ants, always hated ants. I was forever traumatized when stationed in Panama on Flamenco Island. I decided to try to hike around the island's rocky shore line when I encountered a 4 ft. wide path of leaf cutter ants in my way..........totally freaked me out!